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Carissima
Contributed by
true
on
Wednesday, 9th April 2008 @ 08:33:27 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
Oh to be near you
Breathing in the scent of your hair
Gentle touch lingering on the skin
Let me savor this moment
As your eyes shine
With the light of the setting sun
As it caresses you
And makes you glow
Smile for me
So that I might remember joy
And the way my heart skips a beat
Each time you glance at me
From beneath dark lashes
My Carissima
You make me feel alive
But the sun is setting on us
And soon the light will be gone
And I will be left alone
Copyright ©
true
... [
2008-04-09 08:33:27]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Carissima
(User Rating: 1 )
by doug on
Thursday, 10th April 2008 @ 08:31:27 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I was'nt quite ready for that ending.
The way that you left alone as the last
word and then nothing more was effective
at giving me a sense of that loneliness.
I don't know if you intended it that way but
it worked well none the less. I enjoyed it .
It's good to see you writing again.
truly , doug |
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Re: Carissima
(User Rating: 1 )
by LoveStruck_Hippie on
Saturday, 12th April 2008 @ 06:29:12 AM AEST
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A very touching write.
Best I can muster right now is to echo what Doug said.
Keep writing ...
Peace
~Shannon |
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Re: Carissima
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Saturday, 31st May 2008 @ 01:55:30 PM AEST
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I ditto above comments.
Nicely done. The ending got me a good one.
Michelle |
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Re: Carissima
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 27th August 2008 @ 04:06:26 PM AEST
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You have a really good flare for great imagery. This is really beautiful and a tad sad at the end there. I like it.
Thank you,
Tim
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