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Array
(
[sid] => 141188
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Venom
[time] => 2008-03-26 05:09:06
[hometext] => I made the mistake of giving you my trust… of opening my heart and embracing you as something you never really were… Father.
[bodytext] => I remember when all that I breathed was hate, The only thing that kept me from surrendering to the kiss of the blade forever, Was the thought of your life dripping from my hands… {{ eyes of tainted innocence, no longer b.r.o.k.e.n wrapped with determination, hate in every X.x. s t i t c h .x.X }} After years of shame and self-desecration, Years of blaming myself for your sins, I, at long last, Accepted my past, Regarded and admired your new skin, Embraced the change in you, A sigh of relief as I held you A burst of love and joy, The monster in my nightmare forever gone… Never knew how much I had missed you, How much the deafening curve of your laughter Made my heart swell, How much I needed the affection I felt you never gave… Spine snapping in childish desperation To make you proud, To hear you say that you loved me, To make you stay… And yet, after I planted you in the brightest part of my soul, Gave you my trust as peace offering for All the years of raping My fragile esteem, You ruin it all with a threat, To take away everything… I was never meant to read the letter, But made the choice to see proof of your malicious ways, (Still blinded by the illusion that maybe… you had truly changed, clinging to denial like a lover…) I read it twice, Disbelief revealing in a splintered laugh, Tears scalding my cheeks with that Familiar pain, You had used me again. And so the war rages on, My voice as ammunition- You will not break me this time. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 234 [topic] => 6 [informant] => FleurdeSang [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => AngryPoetry )
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