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Array ( [sid] => 136499 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Getting Rid Of The Nightmare. [time] => 2007-08-05 03:54:45 [hometext] => i dont feel this way anymore =] [bodytext] => Nauseated;
floating inside myself.
Tunnel vision
echoing the voices.
Glass thoughts falling,
about to break and
become dangerous shards.
Dancing in the dust of
prescribed drugs.
Trapped in the teasing
always changing doses of
tranquilizers.
Sleep. Let me sleep it off.
Weak. I feel so weak and heavy.
My head floats above my body
spinning around and around.
My tongue is tied in knots.
I cannot speak to you.
Go away, let me ignore you.
I don’t want silent words
to join my unspoken thoughts.
It is only clutter stuck behind
my lips.
I remember the light,
like being in an interrogation room.
I am lying down on a white bed.
White room, white coats, sterile.
Looming faces.
Mouths moving.
Questioning looks.
My lips move in answer.
But I hear nothing.
Tubes. Lots of tubes.
I am a puppet on a stage.
The people in the white coats
take turns being my marionette—
my conductor, my master.
I pretend not to be here.
I drift off into memories.
I see days of my old life
speed by on a fuzzy screen in front
of my eyes.
That was a long time ago, before
everyday was exactly the same;
filled with misery and pain.
Cold hands on my limp arms
jerk me back to reality.
A new tube forced into my throat.
I gasp and choke.
Silent screams.
I cannot breathe.
Dark black charcoal.
Blood, vomit drenched.
No more white sterile sheets.
It’s all coming back to me now.
The feeling,
The pain,
eating at my face,
gnawing on my insides,
feasting on my intestines,
ripping and tearing at my heart.
Hot rain pours from my eyes
stinging like acid.
I JUST WANT TO DIE.
I JUST WANT TO DIE.
When this is over I’ll just do it again.
Swallow a whole bottle of Asprin.
Down it one by one.
All this pain I’m feeling right now
in this hospital room
is nothing compared to the pain
I feel everyday.
Nauseated;
floating inside myself.
I wish to stay in a suspended state.
High in my own mind.
My head spinning.
My eyes unblinking.
The pain gone.
My body numb.
Let me drift away.
I WANT TO BE DEAD.
dead.
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 212 [topic] => 51 [informant] => justme03 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Event )

Getting Rid Of The Nightmare.

Contributed by justme03 on Sunday, 5th August 2007 @ 03:54:45 AM in AEST
Topic: Event

Nauseated;
floating inside myself.
Tunnel vision
echoing the voices.
Glass thoughts falling,
about to break and
become dangerous shards.
Dancing in the dust of
prescribed drugs.
Trapped in the teasing
always changing doses of
tranquilizers.
Sleep. Let me sleep it off.
Weak. I feel so weak and heavy.
My head floats above my body
spinning around and around.
My tongue is tied in knots.
I cannot speak to you.
Go away, let me ignore you.
I don’t want silent words
to join my unspoken thoughts.
It is only clutter stuck behind
my lips.
I remember the light,
like being in an interrogation room.
I am lying down on a white bed.
White room, white coats, sterile.
Looming faces.
Mouths moving.
Questioning looks.
My lips move in answer.
But I hear nothing.
Tubes. Lots of tubes.
I am a puppet on a stage.
The people in the white coats
take turns being my marionette—
my conductor, my master.
I pretend not to be here.
I drift off into memories.
I see days of my old life
speed by on a fuzzy screen in front
of my eyes.
That was a long time ago, before
everyday was exactly the same;
filled with misery and pain.
Cold hands on my limp arms
jerk me back to reality.
A new tube forced into my throat.
I gasp and choke.
Silent screams.
I cannot breathe.
Dark black charcoal.
Blood, vomit drenched.
No more white sterile sheets.
It’s all coming back to me now.
The feeling,
The pain,
eating at my face,
gnawing on my insides,
feasting on my intestines,
ripping and tearing at my heart.
Hot rain pours from my eyes
stinging like acid.
I JUST WANT TO DIE.
I JUST WANT TO DIE.
When this is over I’ll just do it again.
Swallow a whole bottle of Asprin.
Down it one by one.
All this pain I’m feeling right now
in this hospital room
is nothing compared to the pain
I feel everyday.
Nauseated;
floating inside myself.
I wish to stay in a suspended state.
High in my own mind.
My head spinning.
My eyes unblinking.
The pain gone.
My body numb.
Let me drift away.
I WANT TO BE DEAD.
dead.

Copyright Â© justme03 ... [ 2007-08-05 03:54:45]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Getting Rid Of The Nightmare. (User Rating: 1 )
by Angelic_Demon on Sunday, 5th August 2007 @ 04:30:12 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I love it... but death isn't something that should be sought.

Re: Getting Rid Of The Nightmare. (User Rating: 1 )
by colinbaker62 on Sunday, 5th August 2007 @ 08:13:52 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I, for one, very much hope that you remain alive, alive, alive not least because you create some beautifully moving poetry. Having read this piece, if I were to offer some advice to you, it would have to be the following: LIVE AND WRITE!

Colin

Re: Getting Rid Of The Nightmare. (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Sunday, 5th August 2007 @ 04:32:04 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I too am glad you lived cause this is very powerfull writing!
I agree, live to write cause you have magic in your pen.
huggs,
emy

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