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| Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 02-June 23:28:43 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 135122
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => In the presence of enemies
[time] => 2007-06-10 23:29:11
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => In the presence of enemies In the presence of your enemies, blackened by the sin And the company you keep, and the demons from within You fight this battle, from inside, With no strength left, just foolish pride Marriage is fading, friendships are dust Threatened by insanity, addiction and lust The sins of the father, now fall onto you And the sunshine you sought is now blinding you In the presence of my enemies, there’s no one left to see Cause the truth be told, there’s no one left…the enemy is me. Landed in October, the rust of the land Spoke to me and took my hand No longer wasting energy, on living a lie Unable to move, I started to cry The death had begun Drove through the landscape, went far away Left what I knew, I guess ran away To repair and to heal, my wounded soul Confront all the demons, of which I lost control Tough rugged landscapes and mountains so high No longer living, I wanted to die Travel forever, a search to find The answers locked, inside my mind Drive through the mountains, the dessert terrain Listen to the music as I discard all my pain Eyes kept on the road ahead, try to drive away From the hurt and pain of the last 4 years, try to find a way For balance in my life filled with sorrow Trying to find my hope for tomorrow The choices I made, helped me to fail The company I kept, helped drive in the nails In to my hands, as I died for my sins As the pressure and stress brought out the darkness within The witch and the *****, the liar and whore Took part in the downfall, but I blame myself more Triangle of deception fell under a spell Of blind loyalty, seduction, that I followed straight to hell By ignoring the boundaries, I knew should be there I opened my heart to deceit and despair The one that I loved, was not there for me I became complacent, and so did she Torn by the pressures of everyday life And no communication, I stopped knowing my wife We stopped being friends, we shut down and shut out Each other’s comfort, planted seeds of doubt As time went on, we harvested sorrow Ad dreaded each day, and hated tomorrow Lost that connection, lost track of our heart I left you to save us, for now we must part… Afraid of the future, tormented by the past The bonds that I forged could no longer last The connections I made were becoming a noose Dying ever slowly, my sanity torn loose Struggle between the man I’d become, and that hurt little boy Decisions were made to cut ties and destroy In the presence of enemies, within and without Heart wrenched by damage, mind full of doubt I sacrificed all that I knew In order to save us, to begin anew Sold our possessions and cut every tie To what festered the darkness, what fed into the lie Assaulted by my demons on every end Lost track of my family, lost track of real friends Retreated to the mountains, where I had to decide Would I begin to live again, or commit suicide? My son, only one, that gave me hope To come down from the gallows, take off this tightened rope I wanted better for you, then what I had When I was a kid, and it drove me mad That I couldn’t at that time, be a good dad And I knew if I didn’t confront my past Your future would hurt, and your scars would last And the cycle would continue, father to son And you’d be what I had become, surrounded by love, but a lonely one I had this ideal in my head, of what parents should be To be there and love you, help you to see What life can be as you grow older Guidance and caring to help you grow bolder I had always felt that you weren’t there Never thought you loved me, never thought you cared I hated and resented you, for most of my life I blamed you both, for internal conflict and strife I hated the responsibility, you threw onto me Forcing me to think ahead, forcing me to see Things from every angle, made me look ahead To push myself harder, so I wouldn’t end up dead But the most important skill, which is why I’m still alive Is that you taught me self reliance, the skill to survive…..thank you The months went past, the exile grew long Destroyed, erased, improved my life, so I could become strong Again, in mind and in heart Spent lots of time in therapy, to help the demons part Removed the toxic background, that led to my fall Apologized to the ones I hurt, but the ones that hurt me, I removed them all Awoken from the poison, miles away from what I once knew Survived the cure, survived what we’ve been through Took time away, to heal and to purge The dark from my soul, survived the storm surge Stability returned, serenity found In the presence of forgiveness, clear of the sounds Of resentment and hatred and destruction intense Found a cure for the poison, found a defense This doesn’t mean that the battle is won And it doesn’t mean that the work is now done But the bleeding was stopped, and the healing did start It has in my mind, and it has in my heart The boundaries once crossed, will never again Be a factor in love, and my love will now mend Too close to the edge of destruction this time Surrounded myself with wrong people, a crime Found a stronger family bond, rediscovered true friends Died in some ways, destroyed, ripped and torn A man on my own, wiser, older… reborn [comments] => 4 [counter] => 294 [topic] => 48 [informant] => darkscorpio [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 15 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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