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Array ( [sid] => 134156 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Subtlety is Overrated [time] => 2007-05-06 14:53:53 [hometext] => Looking trough away messages, and I noticed something that kind of ticked me off a little... The last stanza doesn't quite fit, but I'm not quite in a mindset to care... [bodytext] => You ask for someone to hold your hand
And comfort you when you cry.
You've failed to notice
My unoccupied shoulders
Either one of which you could try.

You don't have room to complain
About no one wanting you
You've failed to notice
That over a month ago
I already told you that I do.

When he said you were pretty
You found that absolutely wonderful
You've failed to notice
The conversations I've had with you
About how you're so beautiful.

You complain about being alone
When you don't have to be.
You've failed to notice
I still haven't given up on you,
Even after you rejected me.

I would just grab and hold you tight
And tell you things will be alright
But as history has made me see
This would be futility
As you seem set not to notice me.
[comments] => 2 [counter] => 237 [topic] => 6 [informant] => sir_odd87 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => AngryPoetry )

Subtlety is Overrated

Contributed by sir_odd87 on Sunday, 6th May 2007 @ 02:53:53 PM in AEST
Topic: AngryPoetry

You ask for someone to hold your hand
And comfort you when you cry.
You've failed to notice
My unoccupied shoulders
Either one of which you could try.

You don't have room to complain
About no one wanting you
You've failed to notice
That over a month ago
I already told you that I do.

When he said you were pretty
You found that absolutely wonderful
You've failed to notice
The conversations I've had with you
About how you're so beautiful.

You complain about being alone
When you don't have to be.
You've failed to notice
I still haven't given up on you,
Even after you rejected me.

I would just grab and hold you tight
And tell you things will be alright
But as history has made me see
This would be futility
As you seem set not to notice me.

Copyright © sir_odd87 ... [ 2007-05-06 14:53:53]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Subtlety is Overrated (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Sunday, 6th May 2007 @ 03:49:29 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Well friend,
Don't know who this is to but it's awesomely written.
I luv it.
Sure would be nice to be told that.
Incredible writing!
huggs, big smiles,
emy

Re: Subtlety is Overrated (User Rating: 1 )
by Ruby2sdy on Sunday, 6th May 2007 @ 10:58:28 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I like the last stanza, i think the change of flow makes it fit, puts your message across stronger; oh the pain in unrequited-ness (I do think i'm actually starting to make up words!) can totally sympathise with the situation put across, a really good write,

2sdy x

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