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Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 10-June 20:13:36 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 133889
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Suicide Part 2
[time] => 2007-04-28 02:54:36
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Racking in pain as I attempted to walk I pictured my girlfriend sitting me down to talk: "Boy, I've never known you to be the killin' kind I wanna know one thing: what the HELL was on your mind??" And me refusing to speak until my tears were dry... My expression would spell "DEATH, DUH" as I looked her in the eye All up in my business! Who is she s'posed to be? She s'posed to be my girlfriend, duh, so what was buggin me? I'll just say this: eighteen years with no friends is cruel Because when was the last time you dreaded going to school? And no, not because you could never find that space in the parking lot But because the 'friends' you thought you were friends were actually not The kinds that simply use you for help them pass And forces your school career to be full of kiss-...well you know... If you ever needed anything from them, your desires were left bare Yet I never stopped being a fool because the CHANCE was always there "Hey one of them's gotta like me for who I am, right?" or so I was taught But that junk only happened on After School Specials, so that was my fault And dang, by the time that logic and my common sense made romance HHS band was playing Pomp and Circumstance My mind trailed so far away as I put my past life into view Even though I was in enough pain...I was ready for another go in 332 My wounds refused to let me give 'friends' all the credit And I refused to acknowledge attempted suicide...even though I actually did it I needed somebody else to blame for all this...so I picked my dad "See what you made me do? Now, they're probably all mad All because SOMEBODY didn't wanna step up And be a Top Dawg to raise this young pup Now I'm a GENT covered in this striped, dried, burgandy mess A GENT!! Not some TIGER from LSUS But why am I talking to you? Cuz it's not like you care... And I guess that explains why you were never there Because of you I became the "Average Broken Teen" Where the mother takes care of everything" I thought pointing the blame would make me feel better But the D-A-D part burned me up so I tore up the letter And while I was still up through all of this drunkedly swaying My friend was on the floor fervently praying Waddling about with blood drying all over my sin The familiar figure of my girlfriend walks in And as predicted - as if she was emotionally lead We all sat down and me with hatred still in my head Anger seduced me like a mad man stalking The sensation was so overwhelming, I didn't feel like talking Because I knew the words to follow would trail fear And a bunch of nonsense would be all she'd hear Like, "Why do you wanna know? I'm tired of ya'll asking, 'WHY?' What happened to the part where I just roll over and die? Leave me ALONE...I don't want to suffer anymore..." The tears found their way back and they began to pour My emotions swirled as my pain reached its peak Embarrassed in front of my friends I began to speak "I've been nothing but friendly and THIS is how people do me! This AIN'T they way my future is SUPPOSED to be... God knows I'm no better than the next guy Yet everybody has SOMETHING to say so why do I try? I can't take this junk no more - my whole life's a mees" My girlfriend grabbed my hand as if she could sense my lonliness My body shook, my eyes burned, my speech was seasoned with fear I snatched my hand to conceal my mask and restrained the next tear An hour went by and no one had anything to say My friends just stared at my scars and at me in dismay And my better half looked on and no longer saw her mate Just some tall psycho whom she used to date... And just like that I saw her no more Only me and friend now...and he started heading for the door Both of them gone; All because of me And by my unmeditated mistake they took choice B Which was 'give no advice, no props, no commands Because its times like this where he's in God's hands' Choice A is the usual 'Help him' gig But my friends knew my problem was too big Such solace brought many new directions into view What was the next step after 332... ...to be continued... [comments] => 1 [counter] => 178 [topic] => 48 [informant] => Kairo [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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