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Array
(
[sid] => 13305
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => Alien Relics
[time] => 2003-02-25 19:40:00
[hometext] => I was trying to get some homework done and just couldn't...needed to write something down...so here it is :))
[bodytext] => Memories are like objects...
They come into being and then Cease to exist. Absolutely everything is in a state of change... Nothing maintains its form forever. Sometimes you remember stuff that's long since happened...and you wonder If it even really happened... There's one picture in my mind that refuses To go away. Remains permanent and unchanging... Unwilling to forget, adamant to hold onto something...that never was there In the first place. Where's the sense in this? Why the pain?! Why do I have to feel any of this? And don't give me that nonsense about it being a process that shows us that we're human And alive. Dammit I'd rather be dead!!! What I need right now is some spirit crushing boredom. I mean I'm the one in control here...why can't I stop this!?!?!? Why do I have to feel any of this...? He obviously doesn't feel anything... Stupid stupid me... I want to go cold, numb, robotic... No thoughts, no feelings, no reactions. To wake up and think of one thing at a time... Not to wonder what he's doing, or if I should phone to say hi...and see that he's keeping well. I'd rather wake up and think about the flowers dancing outside in the morning glow...of what I'm gonna have for breakfast. Not him...not now. Why'd he have to come back? I say this thinking maybe it would be better But actually I don't even think I mean it. I'd probably miss him a lot...but why!?!? Disappear...go on. I know you want to. [comments] => 0 [counter] => 170 [topic] => 6 [informant] => Arwen [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => AngryPoetry )
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