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Array ( [sid] => 131122 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => My Mate’s A Tortoise. [time] => 2007-01-29 03:47:27 [hometext] => [bodytext] => My mate’s a tortoise in the most tortoisey sense,
He looks quite clever but he’s really quite dense.
He’s a human being but he’s not very well
His skin’s all wrinkly and he’s got a shell
He glued on himself
Using something quite strong.

My mate’s a tortoise in the most tortoisey sense,
He looks quite clever but he’s really quite dense.
He lives on lettuce and anything green
But he’ll knock back a burger if he doesn’t think he’s seen.
Or pie and chips
Or kebab.

My mate’s a tortoise in the most tortoisey sense,
He looks quite clever but he’s really quite dense.
And if he rolls on his back in the middle of the night
A nurse has to come and put him back right
With a broom
‘Cos his arms are too short.

My mate’s a tortoise in the most tortoisey sense,
He looks quite clever but he’s really quite dense.
And every autumn he retires to bed
For three months or more in my garden shed.
In a straw-lined box
He painted himself.

My mate’s a tortoise in the most tortoisey sense,
He looks quite clever but he’s really quite dense.
But one spring he slept on, he wasn’t aware
You need to put holes in your box to get air.
I found him in April
Looking terribly blue.

My mate’s a tortoise in the most tortoisey sense,
But now he’s just worm food buried next to my fence. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 245 [topic] => 7 [informant] => faiton [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 8 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )

My Mate’s A Tortoise.

Contributed by faiton on Monday, 29th January 2007 @ 03:47:27 AM in AEST
Topic: HumorPoetry

My mate’s a tortoise in the most tortoisey sense,
He looks quite clever but he’s really quite dense.
He’s a human being but he’s not very well
His skin’s all wrinkly and he’s got a shell
He glued on himself
Using something quite strong.

My mate’s a tortoise in the most tortoisey sense,
He looks quite clever but he’s really quite dense.
He lives on lettuce and anything green
But he’ll knock back a burger if he doesn’t think he’s seen.
Or pie and chips
Or kebab.

My mate’s a tortoise in the most tortoisey sense,
He looks quite clever but he’s really quite dense.
And if he rolls on his back in the middle of the night
A nurse has to come and put him back right
With a broom
‘Cos his arms are too short.

My mate’s a tortoise in the most tortoisey sense,
He looks quite clever but he’s really quite dense.
And every autumn he retires to bed
For three months or more in my garden shed.
In a straw-lined box
He painted himself.

My mate’s a tortoise in the most tortoisey sense,
He looks quite clever but he’s really quite dense.
But one spring he slept on, he wasn’t aware
You need to put holes in your box to get air.
I found him in April
Looking terribly blue.

My mate’s a tortoise in the most tortoisey sense,
But now he’s just worm food buried next to my fence.

Copyright Â© faiton ... [ 2007-01-29 03:47:27]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: My Mate’s A Tortoise. (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 1st March 2007 @ 09:34:14 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Haven't been around much lately but a visit here is a treat.You are a witty and very entertaining writer,

Den
PS:Did you bury him intact? Or are you now the proud owner of a polished, tortoise shell bowl?

Re: My Mate’s A Tortoise. (User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on Tuesday, 31st July 2007 @ 09:41:27 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Hmmm, am I turtle enough? What a shellacking he got! Dense, hypocritical, repulsive, useless, dozy - and that's how you describe your friends! Anyhoo, he doing his bit now.

(note to self: stay on the right side of 'F'
also, milk and bread, and pay the gas)

Spike

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