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Array
(
[sid] => 130497
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Imminent
[time] => 2007-01-13 22:58:15
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] =>
A dark doorway. Slightly illuminated by a lamp sitting on a desk. The absence of light so immense, you feel it’s a physical thing you can reach out and touch. You breath in heavily knowing inside, your lungs are being filled with its dark depression. Half of you wants to fight it, fend it off, destroy it. The other half craves it, needs it; silently waiting to be immersed by it’s hate. Clouds part in your subconscious. You start to question everything you’ve ever known, even your own existence. Footfalls making no sound, you walk forward.
[comments] => 4
[counter] => 187
[topic] => 73
[informant] => V-I
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 9
[ratings] => 2
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => abstract
)
Imminent
Contributed by
V-I
on
Saturday, 13th January 2007 @ 10:58:15 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
A dark doorway. Slightly illuminated by a lamp sitting on a desk. The absence of light so immense, you feel it’s a physical thing you can reach out and touch. You breath in heavily knowing inside, your lungs are being filled with its dark depression. Half of you wants to fight it, fend it off, destroy it. The other half craves it, needs it; silently waiting to be immersed by it’s hate. Clouds part in your subconscious. You start to question everything you’ve ever known, even your own existence. Footfalls making no sound, you walk forward.
Copyright ©
V-I
... [
2007-01-13 22:58:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Imminent
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Saturday, 13th January 2007 @ 11:23:39 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Deep and powerful, I loved the intense nature of it. The only thing I might suggest would be to put it into stanza's but that is just me.
It does work well in this style too it carries along as thoughts drift through ones mind.
Welcome to YPDC
~Michelle~ |
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Re: Imminent
(User Rating: 1 )
by V-I on
Saturday, 13th January 2007 @ 11:36:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Thank you for you views and welcoming.
The lack of stanzas is caused by the nature of the piece, but I agree it would have read better if in stanzas.
thank you once again.
V-I
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Re: Imminent
(User Rating: 1 )
by NoSaint on
Sunday, 14th January 2007 @ 07:24:38 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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good imagery, intense write
Shari |
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Re: Imminent
(User Rating: 1 )
by myheartsvoice on
Sunday, 14th January 2007 @ 08:56:42 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This was enjoyable to read. I like the half of you wants to fight it and half of you craves it, i know how that can be. Niice style and presentation
Thank you kindly also for the 3 comments.
myheartsvoice
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