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Array ( [sid] => 129472 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Violent Insanity [time] => 2006-12-16 05:13:10 [hometext] => ...I don't personally think this is a whiney emo-child poem, so please don't let the title fool you... but I know it needs some revision, and suggestions would be appreciated. :) [bodytext] => Silenced screams plea for escape
Hushed upon her lips in vain
Every quiver another word
To piece together her phrases
Things she couldn't say
Couldn't find the words to tell it
Or wouldn't
Out of fear and doubt

Unspoken words stream down her face
She tries to collect her thoughts
Every wet spot another word
To piece together her phrases
Things she couldn't say
Couldn't find the words to tell it
Or wouldn't
Out of fear and doubt

Somewhere there's a letter
Written in pieces
Fragmented as her heart
Literary imagery
Painted in black and white
A mural of decietful strokes
Such as the way she saw

Memories poured onto paper
As thin as the line she walked
Tucked beneath her pillow
Stashed near the brandy and the pills
Folded with his picture

She keeps a secret hidden
To remind her of the night
Her violent insanity swayed
And of all the words she bled for him
For she lacked the confidence to speak them [comments] => 1 [counter] => 206 [topic] => 43 [informant] => satanssecret1369 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
Violent Insanity

Contributed by satanssecret1369 on Saturday, 16th December 2006 @ 05:13:10 AM in AEST
Topic: oops



Silenced screams plea for escape
Hushed upon her lips in vain
Every quiver another word
To piece together her phrases
Things she couldn't say
Couldn't find the words to tell it
Or wouldn't
Out of fear and doubt

Unspoken words stream down her face
She tries to collect her thoughts
Every wet spot another word
To piece together her phrases
Things she couldn't say
Couldn't find the words to tell it
Or wouldn't
Out of fear and doubt

Somewhere there's a letter
Written in pieces
Fragmented as her heart
Literary imagery
Painted in black and white
A mural of decietful strokes
Such as the way she saw

Memories poured onto paper
As thin as the line she walked
Tucked beneath her pillow
Stashed near the brandy and the pills
Folded with his picture

She keeps a secret hidden
To remind her of the night
Her violent insanity swayed
And of all the words she bled for him
For she lacked the confidence to speak them




Copyright © satanssecret1369 ... [ 2006-12-16 05:13:10]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Violent Insanity (User Rating: 1 )
by thefemalemind on Saturday, 16th December 2006 @ 10:02:14 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
hi. im new here and i thought i'd check out your poem. its
really good. I like it. you write like i do, only your better. : )
i've only been writing for five months
but ive gotten better and have 8 poems published in various books.
neways, back to the poem. Some punctuation would make it a little more clear.
and deceitful ei not ie. Other than that, its a great write.
i love the imagery it it, along with the tone. thank you for posting.




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