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Array ( [sid] => 128177 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Painted silence. [time] => 2006-11-13 18:01:19 [hometext] => i write this about a week ago. please tell me what you think cuz i think that it's one of my best in ages... [bodytext] => i've learnt to block out their words.
it no longer hurts.
- for now.

sam said i'm out of order.
he implied that i'm bitter.
... because i tested the theory,
to see how many people would care,
if i died..
he said i'm 'attention-seeking',
... as though i'm cheap.
but it doesn't hurt me...

i can't sew my eyes shut,
so i'm blacking out every thing...
as i see their twisted faces,
glaring angry eyes at me.

i'm deadening my feelings.
- and they're helping me
with their anger and distress.
- the bullets of fire,
can't piece any deeper,
so i'm letting it happen,
waiting for every one to hate me,
so i can just DIE!

people keep lying,
they keep painting,
what is silence to my vision,
adding a warm splash of crimson,
to my skin...

vodka sits next to my bed.
tearing away my emotion...
bottlling down the fears,
that are staining my existance...

the vemonmous tears are freezing down my dead face.
burning people towards me.
feeding my paranoia,
as those people people shout and walk away,
because i WON'T let them use me once again!

i smile,
but DON'T KNOW why!
i've carved a repeated anger through my life...!

tainted every chance of hope, in poison.
... and now i'm lying in my grave.
because of it.
BECAUSE OF ME,
i cry myself to sleep at night...
praying i'll NEVER wake up!

[comments] => 2 [counter] => 239 [topic] => 36 [informant] => deathdrop [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )

Painted silence.

Contributed by deathdrop on Monday, 13th November 2006 @ 06:01:19 PM in AEST
Topic: Suicide

i've learnt to block out their words.
it no longer hurts.
- for now.

sam said i'm out of order.
he implied that i'm bitter.
... because i tested the theory,
to see how many people would care,
if i died..
he said i'm 'attention-seeking',
... as though i'm cheap.
but it doesn't hurt me...

i can't sew my eyes shut,
so i'm blacking out every thing...
as i see their twisted faces,
glaring angry eyes at me.

i'm deadening my feelings.
- and they're helping me
with their anger and distress.
- the bullets of fire,
can't piece any deeper,
so i'm letting it happen,
waiting for every one to hate me,
so i can just DIE!

people keep lying,
they keep painting,
what is silence to my vision,
adding a warm splash of crimson,
to my skin...

vodka sits next to my bed.
tearing away my emotion...
bottlling down the fears,
that are staining my existance...

the vemonmous tears are freezing down my dead face.
burning people towards me.
feeding my paranoia,
as those people people shout and walk away,
because i WON'T let them use me once again!

i smile,
but DON'T KNOW why!
i've carved a repeated anger through my life...!

tainted every chance of hope, in poison.
... and now i'm lying in my grave.
because of it.
BECAUSE OF ME,
i cry myself to sleep at night...
praying i'll NEVER wake up!

Copyright © deathdrop ... [ 2006-11-13 18:01:19]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Painted silence. (User Rating: 1 )
by Kimberlynn on Monday, 13th November 2006 @ 06:29:22 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I felt the hurt and helplessness in this poem,it is written very well. I hope you don;t really feel that way, that would suck...

Re: Painted silence. (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Tuesday, 14th November 2006 @ 03:19:24 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Gut wrenching but well written.
Glad ur still here.
huggs,
emy

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