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Array
(
[sid] => 124266
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => No Hope
[time] => 2006-08-09 15:32:30
[hometext] => life sucks...at least now it does.
[bodytext] => this is a last call for anything, for any source of help. i am so exhausted of never fitting in and never getting things done. the doctors tell me that their is no hope, these pills don't take the edge away. i am getting bored of this life, as it seems to be useless. i picture myself as beyond lower than low. trip after trip my parents they make. to the hospitals to try and get a diagnosis. but they will never know. of the things that i think, and the way that i see myself. try and explain, but i am frozen by fear. they think that it is the depression speaking. but it is more, it is something that i cannot explain. eighteen years old, and i just want to die. never learned a thing, my pathetic efforts never availed a thing. i want to live, and be amongst all of the rest. i want to die, and never feel again. i have the pills they are ready to be swallowed. i didn't want it to end this way. but who am i?...and where has my serotonin gone? i look up to the sky and i pray and pray. that god finds me here, and helps me find a way. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 165 [topic] => 13 [informant] => frmpoison2static [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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