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Legacy of Pain
Contributed by
Dark_and_Cold
on
Wednesday, 12th July 2006 @ 11:30:24 PM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
Legacy of Pain
They tell me it wasnt my fault
Just a few pages left
Drifting through the ruins of a life forsaken
Stirring up echoes of the distant past
Sifting through the ashes of paths I could have taken
Recurring visions of love that didnt last
In this place fragments of feelings still linger,
Like artifacts from a long forgotten age
Images of a face and a ring on a finger
Strike my mind as I tear out another page
Reading through the remains of a life left behind
Surviving shadows of a soul I once possessed
Bleeding for the embers of a heart that burned for mine
Reviving memories of a love laid to rest
To my mind fragments of feelings still cling
Like the thick fog that shrouds your grave
I left you behind and you left me your ring
I hold it tight and rip out another page
Distant recollection of the wound from which Ive bled
Persistent resurrections of a love long since dead
Still it seems Im drifting, through the void you left in me
Until the dreams that are real, are devoid of misery
But it seems this life holds... naught for me but pain
And as this game grows old I find Ive sought in vain
I told you that Id love you, until day you die
Yet I cant let go of you, so you see it was a lie
I still long to hold you, and take you in my arms
Id die to behold you, and wake up to your charms
But my love, youve gone for good
Lost forever to my touch
I tell myself things went as they should
And it doesnt hurt as much
But late at night I still can feel
The cold where you once lay
And though Im fine during the day
At night I cant conceal
The tears that I shed for you
And those that fall for us
And the memory of what might have been
If this life were not so unjust
Forgive me, my little one, for not dying on your grave
Our love will not be undone, to your memory I am a slave
One day well be united, this life holds no joy for me
My love is not unrequited, and I serve it faithfully
I hope soon to find you, waiting patiently
I wont have to remind you, of you love you felt for me
Then I can finally rest, and forget about the past
And finally well be blessed, reunited in love at last
Copyright ©
Dark_and_Cold
... [
2006-07-12 23:30:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Legacy of Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 12th July 2006 @ 11:45:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Gotta say, you don't do it often but when you do they hit hard. Very emotion filled. An urgency to it. Very sad, but extremely appealing, atleast to myself I suppose. Glad to see you around, hopefully you'll have a few more writes.
-Cassy |
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Re: Legacy of Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 12th July 2006 @ 11:45:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Too many abstractions. L3 of stanza 1 obsolete after l1. Very tired l. breaks. Minefield of cliche`. Syllables in s1 and s3 are good, they have a nice beat. Very familar figuration. Will not post scansion, there is no meter, which isn't important. Too telly throughout.
Black. |
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Re: Legacy of Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kevin on
Thursday, 13th July 2006 @ 12:00:54 AM AEST
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a Message)
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incredibley sad poem, but i loved it nonetheless. I felt your passion and sadness throughout the entire poem and i felt myself drawn into your story. Whether this is a true story or you're just tryin to get some feeling out, i definitly feel for ya. Take it easy, and keep writing
-Kevin |
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Re: Legacy of Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Thursday, 13th July 2006 @ 03:48:54 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Very impressive.
I enjoy this alot |
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Re: Legacy of Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by lillyjane on
Thursday, 13th July 2006 @ 03:50:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Sad, beautiful xx |
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Re: Legacy of Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Thursday, 13th July 2006 @ 07:42:20 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
A torment of pain for the dying, hurting heart in this write.! It is full of deep, deep , saddness.! It makes the reader just wanna reach out and make it better,......Yet has no clue how to....Other than to lend a listening ear, give a virtual HUG and saying it will get better, with time.! Sad and beautiful post. Please keep in touch....Sometimes having friends, does help.
Brew~ |
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Re: Legacy of Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Thursday, 13th July 2006 @ 09:16:49 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Great rhyming scheme, had me moving right along. Honest and passionate write. I enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing.
Peace, Laura |
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Re: Legacy of Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by JordonsBaby17 on
Friday, 14th July 2006 @ 11:23:01 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| i like you writing. its realistic to me. |
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