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Array ( [sid] => 121841 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Mourning Doves [time] => 2006-06-15 22:56:34 [hometext] => The title started as a play on words and became something so much more [bodytext] =>

As if color were disrespectful
The sky donned a muted grey
While daylight eyes cracked open
Shedding sleep and a
Fine mist of tears

The stones themselves seemed solemn
As if they gravely shared this tragic loss
That hung there in the air, pervasive
And as penetrating
As the bitter cold

I wandered in among them slowly
Weaving through countless markers
Hearing their soft and muted cries
That did little to assuage
My own despair

Trying to make sense of the world
And the eulogistic words emblazoned
Warm and in such stark relief against
Cold, hard, unfeeling
Granite and marble

My approach appeared to go unnoticed
As curiosity overrode unobtrusive desires
Or possibly they welcomed me
Recognizing some sort of
Kindred spirit

They huddled close together, trembling
Gazing down upon the shattered remnants
Of what was once to be their future
Scattered twigs, clumps of mud
And broken ... empty shells







[comments] => 11 [counter] => 343 [topic] => 39 [informant] => Nazmythian [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 40 [ratings] => 8 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Grief )
Mourning Doves

Contributed by Nazmythian on Thursday, 15th June 2006 @ 10:56:34 PM in AEST
Topic: Grief





As if color were disrespectful
The sky donned a muted grey
While daylight eyes cracked open
Shedding sleep and a
Fine mist of tears

The stones themselves seemed solemn
As if they gravely shared this tragic loss
That hung there in the air, pervasive
And as penetrating
As the bitter cold

I wandered in among them slowly
Weaving through countless markers
Hearing their soft and muted cries
That did little to assuage
My own despair

Trying to make sense of the world
And the eulogistic words emblazoned
Warm and in such stark relief against
Cold, hard, unfeeling
Granite and marble

My approach appeared to go unnoticed
As curiosity overrode unobtrusive desires
Or possibly they welcomed me
Recognizing some sort of
Kindred spirit

They huddled close together, trembling
Gazing down upon the shattered remnants
Of what was once to be their future
Scattered twigs, clumps of mud
And broken ... empty shells











Copyright © Nazmythian ... [ 2006-06-15 22:56:34]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Mourning Doves (User Rating: 1 )
by a7x36 on Thursday, 15th June 2006 @ 11:13:38 PM AEST
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i love your word choices, u make it tragic and not emo/cliche


Re: Mourning Doves (User Rating: 1 )
by wolf_tamer on Friday, 16th June 2006 @ 12:33:10 AM AEST
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you have a very big vocabulary. i unfortunatly do not. but what i got of this, it is very good. i did like it alot.
~wolf~


Re: Mourning Doves (User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on Friday, 16th June 2006 @ 03:43:55 AM AEST
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Scott~
Your outstanding flare with a pen is shown evidently through this remarkably penned piece of poetry which has so much depth and emotion. Wow what more can I add to this beautiful piece to give it the credit that it deserves. Penned to perfection. Well done Nazzy~
warm huggers,
~*suzie Q*~


Re: Mourning Doves (User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on Friday, 16th June 2006 @ 06:22:56 AM AEST
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amazing write!

wiz


Re: Mourning Doves (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 17th June 2006 @ 04:20:32 AM AEST
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This is sad and solemn. Your use of metaphors is awesome.

Very well penned indeed.

Tim


Re: Mourning Doves (User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on Saturday, 17th June 2006 @ 11:05:18 AM AEST
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Scott,

This is incredibly different for you. It actually scared me when I first read it. I thought some thing terrible must have happened.

It's heartbreaking, it really is... this poem is so lost and full of despair... It's so quiet.

I think the first and last stanzas are my favourite. They are most powerful.

Good write,
*hugs*
Phyllis xxx


Re: Mourning Doves (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 18th June 2006 @ 11:13:56 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Scotty~

As heartwrenching as this piece was, I have to say how completely awed I am at the
incredible way in which you've displayed and described emotion here. The first stanza
is especially brilliant. I can't remember the last time I read something so beautifully and
expertly personified.

The ending is incredible Scott. The whole piece has a definite despair hanging
between the words, but that last stanza just rips the heart out. Exceptional work snazzy!

~Breezy


Re: Mourning Doves (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 19th June 2006 @ 11:02:41 AM AEST
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Holy crap Scott!!!!!
Stands up and applauds!!!
This is incredible! Diffrent from you and yet I am not surprised that it came from you.

Dang.....This is very VERY good!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Re: Mourning Doves (User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on Monday, 19th June 2006 @ 07:12:45 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
wow Nazzy what an incredible write.
Amazing


Re: Mourning Doves (User Rating: 1 )
by ButchHoward on Wednesday, 21st June 2006 @ 10:40:12 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Whoa! This is a masterpiece of words and feelings that reaches into the very soul. I read it over and over again. There is a special kind of beauty in sorrow, when it is depicted in this way. I will never forget this brilliant piece of work. You should be very proud!
Butch


Re: Mourning Doves (User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on Tuesday, 27th June 2006 @ 09:26:15 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
How tragic Naz, could be so many situations of today. Earthquakes, wars, floods, habitats being torn down. Living in a world of sorrow, grief, and outcry, this is so touching for Doves do indeed mourn.
I'm so glad you put this one in Bold face Naz, for it needs to be read that way also.
Mavelously depicted, touching to behold.
Warm love
consue




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