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Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 02-June 22:54:56 AEST | ||
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(
[sid] => 120912
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => The bad SMELL of the cricket werewolf
[time] => 2006-05-28 10:02:04
[hometext] => a shaggy-dog, werewolf cricket spine-tingler!
[bodytext] => this yellow dog and his big bone caused such a commotion down at the cricket club biting the cricketers chewing their bats and chasing the ball he was the baddest dog in lincoln he had big yellow teeth and a smelly head and he had matted yellow hair, like goldielocks after she had fallen into a swamp of lost thoughts the cricketer's called him 'the yellow dog' they had a love/hate relationship they loved him because he made the game more fun and hated him because he was a bastard with a smelly head! he ***** on the lawn and humped the wickets and got ***** on wine in the pavilion anyway one day he was so bad that… well, let me tell you what he did first; he pooped on the groundkeeper's hat in the shape of a smaller hat and when it set hard, he wore it and then he died from hat complications and we ate him for a laugh and the cricketers continued with their silly game -oh, said one cricketer -I liked the dog -yes, said another -shame he's dead but the dog suddenly came alive again he ate the hat and his eyes watered and then he died again but not before killing the two cricketers with a long yellow dandylion the club got together some money and buried the two cricketers and they shoved the dog's corpse into a hole by the silly mid-off and thought no more about it until halloween that year the night was cold the moon was full the trees were bare and a calm settled over the ground the scene of a floodlit late-night friendly between Lincoln and Yorkshire All at once, The cricketers heard a scratching sound from the silly mid-off the dog had come alive again! as a zombie how cool He pulled his rangy body from the crumbling soil And howled the zombie dog staggered toward the cricket pavilion growling –brains, brains! it was the witching hour and his yellow eyes spun hypnotising all who saw him in the pallid moonlight an evil lurked in the form of a yellow werewolf and when one cricketer saw the apparition his jaw dropped and lasers shot out of the yellow dog's eyes cutting the heads off the flowers around the pavilion. -zombie dog! zombie dog! -he's a killer! screamed the cricketer -yes, but he's got a lovely fluffy snout said a well-kept elderly chap with no idea about the jaws of death that sat within that lovely fluffy snout a cloud passed over the moon and the werewolf drooled with rabid hunger and then he farted he suddenly looked very embarrassed he fell onto the rug of shame, whereupon he started writhing around whimpering -who will be scared of me now? -being a farty werewolf is no fun at all anyway, the cricketers started to laugh and the yellow dog/werewolf farted AGAIN only louder -I am nothing but a smelly yellow bully he whined -oh but then I do like it! -big bad wolf. he's farty! shouted a cricketer -pooee! -don't go near! he smells rather rancid like a rotten cabbage in reverse ha ha! -stinky dustbin wolf farty bum said the groundskeeper lets give him a cuddle and then a kickin and so it was and the yellow werewolf troubled them no more except he watered the green on sundays (by the cricket ground's writers group) [comments] => 0 [counter] => 240 [topic] => 7 [informant] => vitamin_joe [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
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