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Array
(
[sid] => 120650
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Suffocation
[time] => 2006-05-24 04:02:32
[hometext] => Life is cram-packed with surprises; some delightful, some disappointing; think I'm ready for some of the delightful kind. The person's use of the word, suffocating, was no accident. Had she never used this word, this poem would not have been written.
[bodytext] => Suffocating... or "Such an unfortunate end to such a Beautiful Dream..." I. a plastic bag, drawn tight, over the head, duct tape around the neck... the plastic fogs as eyes widen and lungs burst, violent thrashing, spasmodic shuddering, a quaking convulsion as life ebbs, sputters, and is gone; suffocating... II. a burning house, a chamber dense with acrid smoke, a morbid quilt of heavy gray lead pressing you to the floor, choking, gasping, fighting for breath, then death; suffocating... III. feather pillow, thrust viciously over the face, overpowering pressure, desperate struggling, lungs exploding, terror, succumbing, weakness, fading, gone, gone, gone; suffocating... IV. hospital bed, lungs awash with fluid, oxygen count, 67, listless, weak, chest slowly rises and falls, slowly, slowly, slowly slowing, ever so slow, ever so still, much, much slower, barely moving, imperceptible movement, then, a quiet gathering of atmosphere, and for a life-long moment, all that is, pivots, wavers, crumbles, and then releases... a hush, emptiness... living motion succumbs to silent stillness, never to be again: suffocating... V. ...the one who pledged life-long commitment, in sickness or in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, to her dying day... this person stated, "Right from the start, 'your' love was suffocating..." ...she went on to declare, ...your expressions of love were just an attempt to, "keep up the 'outward appearances.'" ...sometime later, .she thought a long while, then with more honesty than she would have thought herself capable of, thinking she was declaring my lovability, rather than her inability to love, she revealed the depth of her heart and soul, the emaciated nature of her spirit, as she made valueless, her word, her promise, her vow, her integrity, and with meditative purpose, a steady voice, and laser accurate focused intent, she expressed, "No. I don't Love him." and, "No. I can't see my 'self' ever living with him in the future." suffocating... VI. For a time, and for reasons that plague us all, I allowed her words to hurt me. Yes, I did, indeed I did, we all do that, don't we... But, but then, when I'd hurt quite enough, with regret and ebbing sorrow, with sincerity and a genuineness of compassion, my heart, my soul, and my spirit, each in their own time gently whispered, "Such an unfortunate end to such a Beautiful Dream..." and then, the whole of me, finally, allowed her memory, to ever so slowly, fade, away... suffocating. April 8, 2005 [comments] => 3 [counter] => 367 [topic] => 21 [informant] => enigma [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 7 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
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