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Array ( [sid] => 120571 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Last Writes [time] => 2006-05-22 23:39:57 [hometext] => Although it goes against every screaming fiber of my being, today I let her go. And then, something in me died. [bodytext] => Last Writes

Overwhelmed.
I am re-learning
Grief.

I have crossed the line,
Between love and pain,
Between commitment,
And opportunity.

An opportunity
To love,
To feel,
To believe,
To experience,

Pain,
And Joy,
And Fear,
And Peace.

These are my Last Writes.

I cannot take another step.
I am frozen.
With fear,
And misguided love,
And hope.

These are my Last Writes.

But yet I am crystal clear.
I adore her,
This new love,
Unequivocally,
Unconditionally,
Unrelentingly,
Uncontrollably.

And now she is out of reach.
Gone.

I must walk away,
If I am to save us.

Any of us.

And I grieve.
I remember,
Losing my father,
Burying my best friend,
And I feel,
Equivalent pain.

So many.
So many loved and lost.
I don’t want
To feel anymore.

I must end this torment.

These are my Last Writes.

Life is a mystery,
Wrapped in an enigma.
In order to have the love,
I know in my heart that I deserve,
I must first give it up.

I go to fix what is broken,
For me.

For us to have a chance,
Any of us.

I flip on my CD,
Raul Midon strums in syncopated rhythm,
And I smile as I remember,
That first time I heard “sunshine”,
And thought about the wonder ,
Of all that once was “my” Carolyn,

And then,
Grief.

I am overwhelmed.

The music,
That once brought me
Such unbridled joy,
Now rends my soul with each jagged note.

Only ashes and pain remain.

And I feel -
Fear,
Pain,
Desolation,
Loneliness.
And then I cry,
Until I am too numbed to feel.

Interesting pastime.

Today the artist in me dies.

These are my Last Writes.
[comments] => 5 [counter] => 421 [topic] => 22 [informant] => rogergouldnc [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 25 [ratings] => 5 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )

Last Writes

Contributed by rogergouldnc on Monday, 22nd May 2006 @ 11:39:57 PM in AEST
Topic: LostLove

Last Writes

Overwhelmed.
I am re-learning
Grief.

I have crossed the line,
Between love and pain,
Between commitment,
And opportunity.

An opportunity
To love,
To feel,
To believe,
To experience,

Pain,
And Joy,
And Fear,
And Peace.

These are my Last Writes.

I cannot take another step.
I am frozen.
With fear,
And misguided love,
And hope.

These are my Last Writes.

But yet I am crystal clear.
I adore her,
This new love,
Unequivocally,
Unconditionally,
Unrelentingly,
Uncontrollably.

And now she is out of reach.
Gone.

I must walk away,
If I am to save us.

Any of us.

And I grieve.
I remember,
Losing my father,
Burying my best friend,
And I feel,
Equivalent pain.

So many.
So many loved and lost.
I don’t want
To feel anymore.

I must end this torment.

These are my Last Writes.

Life is a mystery,
Wrapped in an enigma.
In order to have the love,
I know in my heart that I deserve,
I must first give it up.

I go to fix what is broken,
For me.

For us to have a chance,
Any of us.

I flip on my CD,
Raul Midon strums in syncopated rhythm,
And I smile as I remember,
That first time I heard “sunshine”,
And thought about the wonder ,
Of all that once was “my” Carolyn,

And then,
Grief.

I am overwhelmed.

The music,
That once brought me
Such unbridled joy,
Now rends my soul with each jagged note.

Only ashes and pain remain.

And I feel -
Fear,
Pain,
Desolation,
Loneliness.
And then I cry,
Until I am too numbed to feel.

Interesting pastime.

Today the artist in me dies.

These are my Last Writes.

Copyright Â© rogergouldnc ... [ 2006-05-22 23:39:57]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Last Writes (User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on Monday, 22nd May 2006 @ 11:51:41 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Geesh... this.... hurts to read. And I know that is said with some frequently in the comment spaces on various poems - but I do not say as much lightly. This.. hurts. It is born of hurt, it conveys hurts and it brings hurt, I'd think, to anyone that has even half a heart. Raw, real and potent. Seriously so.

Moreover, it's a darn good write. The sort of write, I'd say, that serves as an indicator of talent. A talent, I'd argue, that should not be denied.

At the risk of sounding pathetically cliche, I wish you peace - in time - and words enough to get you through the interim (please don't stop writing),
~Snemmy

Re: Last Writes (User Rating: 1 )
by djdarkrose04 on Tuesday, 23rd May 2006 @ 10:43:36 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Very great job here! You have quite a way with words. Thanks for sharing!

Re: Last Writes (User Rating: 1 )
by candysears on Thursday, 25th May 2006 @ 08:43:03 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This is a sad write but good..When one door closes another open up..This i was taught.
Writing is something you love,And this is a part of you..
God Bless!
C.S

Re: Last Writes (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Thursday, 19th July 2007 @ 01:51:58 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

so heartbreakingly beautiful....

hugs n' love nessa

roses

Re: Last Writes (User Rating: 1 )
by Breezy on Saturday, 17th July 2010 @ 03:29:09 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

My god. Such exquisite pain. Letting go is the hardest
thing in the world to do. I know. I haven't had much
strength where letting go is concerned. It can make
one feel terribly alone. But life is an endless stream
of lessons learned and chances given. The difficult
part is knowing when.

I have been in this place. It is unequivocally and
indescribably painful. Hopefully it has not irreversibly
hardened the beating breath of faith beneath your
breast.

Happiness is not linear. Nor is sadness. But hope is
omnipresent and perpetual. I hope the years have been kind.

Wonderful writing. -- Achelois

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