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Array
(
[sid] => 120232
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => distorted visions of myself (sick)
[time] => 2006-05-17 00:10:04
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I make myself sick No, literally I do 130 pounds of disgrace pathetic through and through "you screwed up again, you can't eat today!" But it's too late I ate gotta get it up some way head over the bathtub pouring out my shame dumb,fat,and worthless I consider my nicknames I thought it was over I thought I had stopped when my boney frame so many times almost dropped when I could turn sideways and near dissappear I put an end to it then but now I'm right back here it's worse than before pale skin, sunken eyes blister on my hand dropping size after size guess I put on some weight guess I got scared scared of every crumb of every pound I wear people say I look healthy now I think I'm obese they say I look normal I think I'm an overweight freak my family and friends assume now that I'm fine they don't know that I'm here now for my second time this is a disease it never truly went away this time I have a feeling I've not much longer to stay [comments] => 2 [counter] => 206 [topic] => 61 [informant] => gurlg0newr0ng [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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