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And so the past returns...
Contributed by
purplestary
on
Thursday, 30th March 2006 @ 01:02:45 AM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
after i vowed to get over it on my own..and that all i had to do was forget....
Did not want to speak of this
but now it is too late
these cuts have been reopend now
and the blood flows freely out
blood in the form of words
pain in form of tears
i trust you enough to share this
but once i start i cannot stop
I don't know why you did not hush me
I don't understand why you listend
It makes no sense to me
why did you let me go back?
Now my childhood becomes more clear
Everything i went through
all the little ways she messed me up
Now i realize how much is her fault
These memories hurt more then you know
but you let me talk of them
The healthy thing for me is to forget
but you let me go back
You should of changed the subject
you should of told me to stop
now i'm open, i'm bleeding
and there is nothing i can do....
I know better then to trust this way
It is just as much my fault
and now if you want to keep my trust
I need you to make me feel better
I need you to say the right words
The ones to make it go away
be careful of the wrong words
the words that will make it stay....
and so the past returns......i am just her little girl....i am not alowd to be anything more
i need you to understand
now that you know about this
i need you to understand that i still feel this way
and now i need you tell me it is ok
and that i am not her little girl
tell me that i am ok now...i need you to tell me that i will be ok
tell me i am not in her prison
tell me that she does not controle me
tell me that it is all over
tell me she cannot manipulate me...
tell me because the past is returning...
tell me i am more then her little girl....please..
tell me i am alowed to breath
tell me that when i walk out the front door i don't have to answer to her
tell me that she does not win
tell me that she will not take you away
tell me that my thoughts and my decisions are mine now...
tell me i am not her little girl....tell me you have the key to the cell.....
i am tired and i do not want to do this again
i am tired of crying
i am so tired.....of everything....
i love her but feel that is another form of her manipulation...
she knows this i bet...that i love her so much
that i see the good things she has done for me
and it hurts that i can hate her so much, yet love her the same
i don't know what to do now...and you let me start this
and now i do not want to look like a wining victim who thinks their life just sucks
because that was her little girl....and i am not her little girl anymore.......
Copyright ©
purplestary
... [
2006-03-30 01:02:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: And so the past returns...
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Thursday, 30th March 2006 @ 10:27:43 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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This is a deep outpouring of deep pain and emotions. But, I must say to you, in all honesty. Once you are no longer behind her door, it is up to YOU to throw off the mantle of emotional slavery. You and only you can pull up the strength to be the strong person you want and need to be. You can do it. In my career I have seen many do exactly that. It is not odd to love and hate someone at the same time. It is normal and it is O.K. but there is a time to become YOU and this venting of normal emotion sounds like you have come upon that time. I wish you strength and send blessings of strength to you to become YOU and be proud. Let go of the past and focus on the future, one step at a time. There may be bumps and trials, but those are only to make you stronger.
Blessings to you,
Rita |
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Re: And so the past returns...
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Monday, 25th June 2007 @ 03:55:51 AM AEST
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| As you climbed your mountain here and asked your questions of how to get those messages out of your heart and head I already know from your other works you have conquered and concluded this. Your journey of words to get this out was required to get there. As I am reading your works backwards...last to first I see your growth in leaps and bounds. What a strong soul you are to share and reach to others with your words. Continue your journey for there are many to follow this path you are leading who will send many blessings as they catch up to you. Always my thanks. |
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Re: And so the past returns...
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxILoveTheSilencexx on
Sunday, 8th June 2008 @ 12:59:29 AM AEST
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wow deep, emotional, anguished, painful.....honestly these are just some of the emotions i felt while reading this....
nice work....
=)
hope things are better for you.... |
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Re: And so the past returns...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Wednesday, 11th June 2008 @ 11:20:47 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow..... This had me on the edge of my chair.. pulling me further and further in with it.. Your emotions poured out like someone took a bucket and poured all the water out of it.... But you know what...once the 'dirty' water has been emptied, that bucket can now be filled with clean water once again....
Hope all is well with you now..
Jenni |
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