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Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 10-June 19:48:06 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 116635
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => How Much Longer
[time] => 2006-03-18 12:02:46
[hometext] => I wrote this poem when i was going through a rough time. my grnadmother had just died-God rest her soul- and i felt like no one knew what was going on in my life. i was really insecure.
[bodytext] => I’m forced to fake a smile everyday of my life. I can sit here and honestly say something is not right. My friends think I’m happy, my family thinks I’m okay.They don’t see the pain I am going through every day. I am a Christian, I am not lying, so why am I sitting here, and I cant stop crying. Life is too short for this mess, I wish I could just confess, the pain I feel inside. It makes me want to cry. Why is this my life, why can’t I just look all right? I am just so insecure; there is nothing that I know for sure. Everything I wish would change, keeps me here like tied up chains. Too much for a 13-year old life, but I’m not saying I want to die. I love my family and my friends; I just wish this day would end I love my Lord and my God, can he please just show me how? How can I get through this? How much longer do I have to endure this? To many things locked up inside, to many people I have to push to the side. I know you think I might be crazy, I know my thoughts seem a little bit hazy. I’ not a drama queen, this is how I feel, so you can’t sit there and say this is not real I say I’m okay every day of my life, but the truth is I’m then your mind would have went off like a alarm or a beeper. But luckily I didn’t, I’m still alive, but sometimes I think should I have died? But I’m not saying I want to, its just a thought, I don’t want to die, it may sound like I do, but that is how I am confusing you I’m not suicidal. I swear I am not, if I were I’d be throwing you a lot of different thoughts. My mind is to complicated for you to understand. So don’t sit here and act like you’re the bigger man. I’ve dealt with it this far, and I will keep on trying, but if I break down or just start crying, pay no attention at all, you haven’t so far, just walk away, and act like I’m not alive. I’ll get better, and ill just get up and try. I will stay alive, because I’m strong, I will carry on, so this is it I’m done, now leave me alone this is the end of this poem. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 193 [topic] => 61 [informant] => no_one [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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