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Array ( [sid] => 114373 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => I Have A Cold [time] => 2006-02-06 17:16:10 [hometext] => [bodytext] => My limbs weigh 1,000 pounds.
This pencil is like a 2 ton truck.

My nose feels like my dogs:
Wet and drippy.
As bright as a cherry.
It's a juicy cherry on fire!

My lips are dry and lifeless.
They died from my polluted breath.

My sight is blury.
It feels like Bob Probert is sitting on my eyelids.

There's a storm going on in my throat.
I sound like that old Buick in the drive way.

The superbowl is going on in my head.
Everytime I stand up they score a touch down and the crowd goes wild.
And their soda starts to spill out of my nose...

Every time I yawn it feels like I'm being stabbed in the throat.

My ears pop every time I swallow.

I need a screwdriver so I can itch my throat.

I feel like I'm in the middle of a blizzard.
My toes are frost bitten.

I can't speak
I can't drink
I can't sleep
I can't think

I'm a wet noodle getting mushier by the minute.

But I only have a cold.
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 282 [topic] => 56 [informant] => Drapes [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => sarcasticpoetry )

I Have A Cold

Contributed by Drapes on Monday, 6th February 2006 @ 05:16:10 PM in AEST
Topic: sarcasticpoetry

My limbs weigh 1,000 pounds.
This pencil is like a 2 ton truck.

My nose feels like my dogs:
Wet and drippy.
As bright as a cherry.
It's a juicy cherry on fire!

My lips are dry and lifeless.
They died from my polluted breath.

My sight is blury.
It feels like Bob Probert is sitting on my eyelids.

There's a storm going on in my throat.
I sound like that old Buick in the drive way.

The superbowl is going on in my head.
Everytime I stand up they score a touch down and the crowd goes wild.
And their soda starts to spill out of my nose...

Every time I yawn it feels like I'm being stabbed in the throat.

My ears pop every time I swallow.

I need a screwdriver so I can itch my throat.

I feel like I'm in the middle of a blizzard.
My toes are frost bitten.

I can't speak
I can't drink
I can't sleep
I can't think

I'm a wet noodle getting mushier by the minute.

But I only have a cold.

Copyright © Drapes ... [ 2006-02-06 17:16:10]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: I Have A Cold (User Rating: 1 )
by lostrelic on Monday, 6th February 2006 @ 05:40:30 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

lol im sorry for you but it made me laugh i hope you get better great write
r.m.wilder

Re: I Have A Cold (User Rating: 1 )
by Seans_Girl on Monday, 6th February 2006 @ 11:07:26 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I know how you feel I have a cold right now too. It sucks! I hope it goes away soon. I can't stop coughing and i have bad nasal drip! Yuck!

Natalie

Re: I Have A Cold (User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on Tuesday, 7th February 2006 @ 07:03:01 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Hi Drapes,

this is a vivid and well expressed catalogue of symptoms! No, not the consumptive poet but a modern day version, which should resonate with anyone who has been struck down with a cold - which basically is everyone. Loved the similes, nice flow, interesting structure. As George Bush would say, 'in other words' a damn fine poem!

Spike

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