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Array ( [sid] => 110838 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Jocelynne [time] => 2005-12-03 12:56:10 [hometext] => ~to my beautiful little girl, you're not quite two but later, someday in the future you can read my feeble offering of apologies. I never meant to hurt you as I starved myself.~weepingprophet [bodytext] => I stopped the swallow
Meaning to die
An unjustified attempt
Of my own demise

I never thought I’d harm you
With the choices that I made
I wish I could disarm
All the explosives I have laid

The starving stomach aches
In my ashamed remorse
I never meant to harm you
As I tried to settle scores

My beautiful and only love
As I watch you play carefree
I think how much I hurt you
Only trying to hurt me

You said your first word
And now call me by my name
You smile so openly
As though you know no pain

My starving heart aches
In my ashamed remorse
I never meant to wound you
As I tried to settle what are now
Stale scores

Dear Jocelynne I apologize
For the sake of my love for you
Someday when you’re older
I’ll explain the bitter truth

But as life finds you going on two
All I can do
Is sit in my feeble apologies
And never regret loving you

My starving heart is fed
The ache has disappeared
Not because of you
But by conquering what I feared

I will never try to wound you
My love I will seek to prove
And spend a lifetime learning
Just how to give love to you
[comments] => 5 [counter] => 156 [topic] => 55 [informant] => weepingprophet [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 22 [ratings] => 8 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => dedicatedpoems )

Jocelynne

Contributed by weepingprophet on Saturday, 3rd December 2005 @ 12:56:10 PM in AEST
Topic: dedicatedpoems

I stopped the swallow
Meaning to die
An unjustified attempt
Of my own demise

I never thought I’d harm you
With the choices that I made
I wish I could disarm
All the explosives I have laid

The starving stomach aches
In my ashamed remorse
I never meant to harm you
As I tried to settle scores

My beautiful and only love
As I watch you play carefree
I think how much I hurt you
Only trying to hurt me

You said your first word
And now call me by my name
You smile so openly
As though you know no pain

My starving heart aches
In my ashamed remorse
I never meant to wound you
As I tried to settle what are now
Stale scores

Dear Jocelynne I apologize
For the sake of my love for you
Someday when you’re older
I’ll explain the bitter truth

But as life finds you going on two
All I can do
Is sit in my feeble apologies
And never regret loving you

My starving heart is fed
The ache has disappeared
Not because of you
But by conquering what I feared

I will never try to wound you
My love I will seek to prove
And spend a lifetime learning
Just how to give love to you

Copyright Â© weepingprophet ... [ 2005-12-03 12:56:10]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Jocelynne (User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on Saturday, 3rd December 2005 @ 03:14:58 PM AEST
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Wow, this was a beautiful piece of your heart you laid out on the line. Stop beating yourself up over past mistakes...I know it's hard...but you can tell from the write your love and devotion to your daughter is strong. She sounds lucky to have a mother like you. Peace and thanks for sharing. Laura

Re: Jocelynne (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 3rd December 2005 @ 03:27:43 PM AEST
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But in the failure to harm yourself you gained what I'm sure is or what will prove to be, the greatest presence in your life. The love of a child is not difficult to earn, they'll look to you with open minds, and if you don't hurt them they'll accept you. They look for what most adults do, love. Such a sincere apology, I'm sure of - as you are too, she'll not understand, but she'll grow, and I'm sure she'll gain many of the traits you yourself show to have throughout you're writing, and if she has the same heart, and is given the chance to read this, I know she'll forgive you. A very gently sweet write, a heart string tugging piece to say the least. Lovely.

-Cassy

Re: Jocelynne (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 4th December 2005 @ 07:08:57 AM AEST
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Having a daughter myself I can relate to this so much. Apologizing to her for the mistakes I've made in the past. You'll find that she'll be very forgiving...she'll probably be wondering what to forgive as a matter of fact. Your obvious devotion will certainly inspire her own love for you that she already has and will grow each and every day...for both of you for each other.

You'll see that she will grow into a beautiful person and will ease your pain better than anyone else possibly can.

She will never regret loving you either.

Take care and thank you for sharing such an emotional write.

Tim
:-)

Re: Jocelynne (User Rating: 1 )
by tangle on Monday, 5th December 2005 @ 01:40:17 AM AEST
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Very good! The lines join together great.

Re: Jocelynne (User Rating: 1 )
by enigma on Monday, 5th December 2005 @ 12:03:49 PM AEST
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...we all do it...we pass it on before we even realize we're doing it...they are crippled before they even reach the age of three...

...I'm going to post a poem from my "Abigail" book...it is related...

ron...enigma

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