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(
[sid] => 109985
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => I Died Today.
[time] => 2005-11-18 16:58:54
[hometext] => This was a Creative Writing assignment that I wrote a month ago. Prompt: A paper came tumbling through your window... the message on it changed your life forever. What did it say?
[bodytext] =>
Nothing ever really happens on Mondays. Especially at 3 o’ clock in the morning… But a whisper of change blew through my window and landed gently next to my oak desk. It was worn and smelled of distant shores, of loneliness and despair, the words were elongated with streaks of rain… or tears… my curiosity got the better half of me ( as it always does); I turned on my lamp and began my journey through a perfect stranger’s mind…
‘I died today.
But I’m still breathing…
Bleeding.
Relishing this elaborate agony, crimson and beautiful,
That you have so dotingly caused me,
Sweet, demolition lover.
My stomach is an intricate knot, like your heart,
Spine twisted into rose origami,
Just like my mind and these bent fingers,
Yearning to feel anything other than my own desecrated flesh…
***
Wanting you, and hating you,
And on and on like this,
And, my decaying seraph, I can’t remember…
***
I have forgotten to forget again,
I am living in the same delusion as we once did,
The ocean hums a different song these days,
And the stars aren’t as luminescent as they used to be,
Yet… this prison is much more liberating
Than your bitter arms of destitute passions,
Still clinging to me…
You’re still holding me down, Darling,
Your eyes are rolled back and fly-nibbled, radiant cadaver,
Your lips, cold, and laced with the same deceptions you once told me…
I write to you, worthless whore,
From the lavish catacombs of your watery grave,
The air sighs with the same anguish that my heart holds,
As I,
Finally,
Kiss you goodbye…
And wander along a calm sea
Of lugubrious non-living…
~
Know always, my wilted rose…
That I did it out of love…
And nothing more…
Eternally,
A.’
[comments] => 8
[counter] => 242
[topic] => 13
[informant] => FleurdeSang
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 34
[ratings] => 7
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => DarkPoetry
)
I Died Today.
Contributed by
FleurdeSang
on
Friday, 18th November 2005 @ 04:58:54 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Nothing ever really happens on Mondays. Especially at 3 o’ clock in the morning… But a whisper of change blew through my window and landed gently next to my oak desk. It was worn and smelled of distant shores, of loneliness and despair, the words were elongated with streaks of rain… or tears… my curiosity got the better half of me ( as it always does); I turned on my lamp and began my journey through a perfect stranger’s mind…
‘I died today.
But I’m still breathing…
Bleeding.
Relishing this elaborate agony, crimson and beautiful,
That you have so dotingly caused me,
Sweet, demolition lover.
My stomach is an intricate knot, like your heart,
Spine twisted into rose origami,
Just like my mind and these bent fingers,
Yearning to feel anything other than my own desecrated flesh…
***
Wanting you, and hating you,
And on and on like this,
And, my decaying seraph, I can’t remember…
***
I have forgotten to forget again,
I am living in the same delusion as we once did,
The ocean hums a different song these days,
And the stars aren’t as luminescent as they used to be,
Yet… this prison is much more liberating
Than your bitter arms of destitute passions,
Still clinging to me…
You’re still holding me down, Darling,
Your eyes are rolled back and fly-nibbled, radiant cadaver,
Your lips, cold, and laced with the same deceptions you once told me…
I write to you, worthless whore,
From the lavish catacombs of your watery grave,
The air sighs with the same anguish that my heart holds,
As I,
Finally,
Kiss you goodbye…
And wander along a calm sea
Of lugubrious non-living…
~
Know always, my wilted rose…
That I did it out of love…
And nothing more…
Eternally,
A.’
Copyright ©
FleurdeSang
... [
2005-11-18 16:58:54]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I Died Today.
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Friday, 18th November 2005 @ 06:49:40 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I love how your mind works, Stephy. You imagination just blows me away.
I mean this...
My stomach is an intricate knot, like your heart,
Spine twisted into rose origami,
Just like my mind and these bent fingers,
Yearning to feel anything other than my own desecrated flesh…
I mean, I know I could never even get close to that. You wording is amazing, and the images are incredible. You told me today that I was a genius with words. I think you are the true genius.
A stunning write, sweetie.
Much love,
Phil xxx |
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Re: I Died Today.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Unbreakable on
Friday, 18th November 2005 @ 08:17:17 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
I love the imagery. The contrasts work so well within your poem and it flows so well. You obviously put a lot of thought into this, it is very emotional and touching and at times a little morbid...great work..I look forward to reading more of your poetry..
Krystal |
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Re: I Died Today.
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Saturday, 19th November 2005 @ 12:11:26 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
well I sure hope your teacher gave you 100%
for this was amazing. I loved how it started
the line, "I died today" was just perfect and
how you expanded from those three words
was just magnificent. The imagery you used
was also spellbinding. I loved it!
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: I Died Today.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Loende on
Saturday, 19th November 2005 @ 02:41:00 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Well, little flower, tu est tres bien. This was so darned honest and resonating. I had to read it three times before I could comment. My hat is off to you, it's just amazing. Thank you and I look forward to more.
Be well,
Loende |
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Re: I Died Today.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 19th November 2005 @ 05:40:49 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| The emotions the writer runs through are so very strongly protrayed..it's hard to believe it is just a writing assignment |
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Re: I Died Today.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Tuesday, 6th December 2005 @ 01:10:20 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Oh Stephy ... had I been your Creative Writing teacher ... I would have assigned, the very next day ... that you write of how ... and why ... those words changed your life. I am always swept away by your words. They are most deffinately uniquely you. I pause and hold onto eash line and often times read twice or three times ... then again when commenting. But I am now seated before my keyboard pondering ... the words were to have flown in through a window ... they were to have changed your life ... ( What were they ? ) ... oh but I ache to understand the hows and whys of the transformation that would have occoured. The words dear, they as always, are delicious.
Nazzy ~ |
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Re: I Died Today.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 3rd January 2010 @ 12:54:21 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
I clicked the mystery poem tonight and what a pleasant surprise.
Graphic!!! And you used the word lugubrious!!! Awesome. This day, this Monday at 3:00 a.m. was different, wasn't it?
And what a unique way to say I remember - I have forgotten to forget again
I am not sure I will ever be able to write a letter like you can.
Yours truly,
Standing in awe,
Tim |
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Re: I Died Today.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fuzzy on
Sunday, 3rd January 2010 @ 01:53:33 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Truly amazing poem, this is just really very well written
and honest Truly amazing.
Take care
Fuzzy |
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