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This freedom of mine
Contributed by
aliengirl
on
Friday, 4th November 2005 @ 12:02:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
If what you call a cell
is what i call a world
then you think me mad
because im free from your world
No one can take my sanity
what you mistake for madness
is just pure clarity
i've just broken the chains
of what some people
might call " society"
But i'll ask you this:
When draughts go free
and healths cheer you by
do you not feel
this freedom of mine?
When fog runs through your lungs
and laughter through your ears
and your screaming brings
your paranoid fears
and your thoughts will end
in a dream or a cry,
do you not feel this freedom of mine?
when day turns dark
and your mind goes light
when your heart and eye
will turn kind,
you travel to the world
you always hope to find
somewhere you can really smile
without being accused of being senile
yes you do know this freedom of mine
but you close it up
with shame and etiquette
and hypocrisy
and lies
And you loathe and you hate
whoever has your gold
and with and explosion of fire
you turn them to cold
Do you not see this jail on your mind?
Locked by the greed
of the money on your hand
Now you laugh at the thought
that you sin your way to heaven
and you laugh and you laugh
but you cry inside
because you see
that you're blind
Then you envy me
and this freedom of mine
and you feel your hate burning
your insides
because you will never have
this freedom of mine
You anger and you pain
because i'm happy and you're not
so you send me away
behind bars, tight and shut
Now you continue to crime
your way through life
while im safe, away and happy
in a friendly ward.
You continue to call upon death
through your heart
and you call and you call
and you swear on her face
when she's not away a yard
It is I who lack sanity?
It is I who lack sense?
Now you know what you've missed
swallowed by darkness
by demons kissed
and the hole in your heart
expands in your part
So forever you're trapped inside
what you thought that
would help you survive
apart from blind you were deaf!
Because of your arrogance
and stubborness
you've landed in death!
while i fly away as happy as before
and i play in the clouds
something funner than before
and i rest at ease,
on a cloud i recline
i want you to know that
On the ward you shut me in
i was just fine
just because i treasured and i kept
this freedom of mine.
Copyright ©
aliengirl
... [
2005-11-04 12:02:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: This freedom of mine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 4th November 2005 @ 11:10:54 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| i think you have a lot of talent, but you cover it up with using too many words to express what your talent has the capability to do. i think that a lot of this needs to be axed, with just the simple fact that its repetitive or lacks the originality, diction, or power of some of your finer verses. if this wasnt such a long poem i would probably suggest changing the lines to make them have more of an impact, but the length of this poem would overwhelm itself. |
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Re: This freedom of mine
(User Rating: 1 )
by being_oflight on
Saturday, 7th October 2006 @ 11:17:43 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| i like it alot, i share the somewhat the same views..good write |
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Re: This freedom of mine
(User Rating: 1 )
by The_Unknown on
Sunday, 8th October 2006 @ 03:02:11 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
this is a really good poem. I like it a lot.
luvs ya!
~*Jess*~ |
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