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Array
(
[sid] => 108307
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Internal Conflict
[time] => 2005-10-23 16:03:55
[hometext] => Being the very first poem I've ever written, I am proud because it's the first time I wrote for myself...instead of for others.
[bodytext] => When my brain tells me what is real, My heart conflicts with what I feel, And I can't help but be confused, About what they say and feel about you, When they speak, I can't ignore, When they tell me why I'm here and what I'm good for, When my brain says something and my heart don't agree, A war rages inside of me, Sometimes I can't feel it, Other times they're just words, But when they battle it just plain hurts, I don't know to make the war stop, It keeps raging on and on, I can't choose who I want to win, The battles just start up again, I don't know what side to believe in this war, Each battle hurts more and more, I can't stop it...I don't know why, They keep fighting all day and night, Two feelings verse each other in this war, I don't know who I love more, Is my brain right and my heart all wrong, Should I take the closest one before she's gone, Or is my brain wrong and my heart all right, Should the farthest one be in my life, Or will this war stop and one side win, Or will the pain keep coming back again, I wish I could side with a feeling in this war, ...one worth fighting for, Wish I could understand what they plan, I don't know, I don't stand a chance, I can't decide whose wrong or right, The best one for my life. Whenever my heart starts pounding on my brain, I can't help but go insane, But when my brain starts beating on my heart, I just get torn apart, It's hard to tell what I feel inside, It hurts just to be alive, I'd just like this war to stop, I can't take it, I feel so lost, All the feelings I feel inside, Get mixed up all the time, Emotions...running wild, Screaming like a little child, I can't run, Can't hide, I'm depressed all the time, This war is killing me, I'm not who i used to be, My brain says go for the one you can reach, Hold her tight and never release, But my heart says don't give in, You still have the farthest one to believe in, All of my feelings, (Even) My pride, I've lost control of everything inside, Alas, my sense of right and wrong, Are completely gone, Am I supposed to lie, tell myself a fib, I feel crazy, I'm dying to live...a normal life, i can't keep this up, Whose who? I need someone's touch. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 232 [topic] => 48 [informant] => Minus_Blindfold [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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