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Array ( [sid] => 108231 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => If You Wish It [time] => 2005-10-22 04:03:18 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Today you told me:
"Look, we have to talk.
we've been worried about you for a while
and we think
we think
we think that you have an eating disorder."
my heart shattered in my chest as you explained
signs, symptons, therapy
i tried, i tried so hard to convince you
no. to be sick you have to be thin.
only 30 more pounds and im beautiful.
only 30 more pounds and i win.
i tried, i tried so hard to explain to you
about this battle that's inside me
that i can't stand to lack control
that i can't stand not being free
i was embarassed, you thought i was sick
when i am nothing but horribly fat
you were going to ge me professional help
well i couldn't leave it at that
so from now on, alot more exercise
and very little food for me
i WILL be skinny, i WILL get sick
if you want it, so it shall be. [comments] => 6 [counter] => 223 [topic] => 61 [informant] => Bohemian_with_a_pen [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )

If You Wish It

Contributed by Bohemian_with_a_pen on Saturday, 22nd October 2005 @ 04:03:18 AM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

Today you told me:
"Look, we have to talk.
we've been worried about you for a while
and we think
we think
we think that you have an eating disorder."
my heart shattered in my chest as you explained
signs, symptons, therapy
i tried, i tried so hard to convince you
no. to be sick you have to be thin.
only 30 more pounds and im beautiful.
only 30 more pounds and i win.
i tried, i tried so hard to explain to you
about this battle that's inside me
that i can't stand to lack control
that i can't stand not being free
i was embarassed, you thought i was sick
when i am nothing but horribly fat
you were going to ge me professional help
well i couldn't leave it at that
so from now on, alot more exercise
and very little food for me
i WILL be skinny, i WILL get sick
if you want it, so it shall be.

Copyright © Bohemian_with_a_pen ... [ 2005-10-22 04:03:18]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: If You Wish It (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Saturday, 22nd October 2005 @ 04:11:58 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Very, very sad but well written.
huggs,
emy

Re: If You Wish It (User Rating: 1 )
by Forever_Now on Saturday, 22nd October 2005 @ 09:16:49 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Sometimes we become what they expect us to be. Let expectation be a game for the masses

Re: If You Wish It (User Rating: 1 )
by KaylaNoelHohn on Saturday, 22nd October 2005 @ 01:16:23 PM AEST
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Well said.

Re: If You Wish It (User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on Friday, 11th November 2005 @ 07:19:09 AM AEST
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There is a will, so a way must be found....
Do take care.
David

Re: If You Wish It (User Rating: 1 )
by weepingprophet on Wednesday, 16th November 2005 @ 04:46:17 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

And you strike a chord in me again bohemian. we fight the same battle and i fear we are on such a team that is lonely. Everyone with their talk of sickness. Let it be known that thin is honest, this "disease" is who we have become. I have ridden this elevator up and down. Hospital visits-threats. Death is a friendly face-sometimes.

~when you say i'm beautiful-your hands are gripping my shoulders for a moment, your mouth over mine and you promise me i am a goddess as you forcefully contain your moans-that was yesterday, today however, I AM SICK. and you're the sane one?~weepingprophet

p.s. we should talk

Re: If You Wish It (User Rating: 1 )
by weepingprophet on Wednesday, 16th November 2005 @ 04:46:20 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

And you strike a chord in me again bohemian. we fight the same battle and i fear we are on such a team that is lonely. Everyone with their talk of sickness. Let it be known that thin is honest, this "disease" is who we have become. I have ridden this elevator up and down. Hospital visits-threats. Death is a friendly face-sometimes.

~when you say i'm beautiful-your hands are gripping my shoulders for a moment, your mouth over mine and you promise me i am a goddess as you forcefully contain your moans-that was yesterday, today however, I AM SICK. and you're the sane one?~weepingprophet

p.s. we should talk

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