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Array
(
[sid] => 10526
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => Ignore
[time] => 2003-01-16 10:00:00
[hometext] => its just a poem about wondering why im always being ignored after i point it out and its sitll being done.. .and they dont even realize it. is everywhere... with everyone at one point in time... walking ot the store... school... i hate it.
[bodytext] => Ignore
Do you ever feel like you don’t belong? Like when you’re there but they don’t see you? Do you ever feel like its because you did something wrong? That they don’t want to talk to you anymore? When im just there, they just leave. They just go and talk to someone else. When I want to follow they don’t seem to perceive, That they are leaving me behind. When I tell them I don’t want to live anymore, They pretend that they cant live without me. But they do that everyday pretending im not there just like before. Like I don’t even exist. Im not even alive to them. Im just to boring that they don’t care. They put me in hell with the wish to condemn, Everyone that forgets im there. Its hurts me every day they do this. They don’t realize the pain im in. They don’t understand how deep im in this, This depression they don’t seem to get. I might just go to far. I’m unstable and confused. I don’t even know who they are. Some don’t even realize they do it… This isn’t cool, Im being unfair. They can have more friends than me, im just a fool, For believing that they can hang out with me too. It can’t just be the three or four of us, It just has to be them two. Its like I can’t trust, That I won’t be forgotten forever. I feel like they’ll just forget me. It already happened once before… They all seemed to ignore me, Like I wasn’t even there. They were to busy caring for someone else, Making sure she was alright. Not even caring to know about me. Or to ask if I was alright. I felt so alone. They just left me for her, Every day I felt like dying, with a gun to my head, blown. Like if I did it, they wouldn’t care. They wouldn’t recognize that I was gone. That I was never going to return. They didn’t care I was never near them, I was just withdrawn. They never even asked why… Every night I cried, Wondering what I did wrong. Every night I was close to death and died, But I never got the courage to even start. I cant live without friends, Each day I was a wreck. They’d stare at me and not say, to the ends, I wish, instead if stare, they’d just kill me. Of course they said hi Of course they smiled. I always felt the need to die. I always felt the need to cry. They never seem to actually care what's wrong with me, They just believe what I say. Why can’t I tell them everything so they could see? That I fight with a demon each day. They don’t realize the truth. That I can’t be alone. I feel to insecure for my youth, I can’t do this anymore. They’ll always forget me, They’ll always walk away. I tell them not to for get me, But why… why do they forget? [comments] => 3 [counter] => 162 [topic] => 48 [informant] => frozensuicide [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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