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Array ( [sid] => 103222 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Young woman turned cold [time] => 2005-08-11 00:49:47 [hometext] => Ugh...just wrote it. Definitely not one of my bests... this might just be my last submission for a while, i don't know. Nonetheless, enjoy... [bodytext] => Peer unto my soul
tell me what you see
Is it not made of coal
As black as ebony?

Peer into my eyes
look closely and you'll find
Teardrops waiting to be freed
Behind this thick facade of mine

Listen to my heartbeat
It's never told a lie
As the beat gets slower
You'll know it's my time to wave "goodbye"

Feel my withered body
Scarred from a battle within
Touch the bumps and bruises
That parade upon my skin

Tell me this is not the body
Of an overworked soul
Tell me this is not the body
Of a young woman turned cold
[comments] => 2 [counter] => 145 [topic] => 43 [informant] => Ineedanap [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

Young woman turned cold

Contributed by Ineedanap on Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 12:49:47 AM in AEST
Topic: oops

Peer unto my soul
tell me what you see
Is it not made of coal
As black as ebony?

Peer into my eyes
look closely and you'll find
Teardrops waiting to be freed
Behind this thick facade of mine

Listen to my heartbeat
It's never told a lie
As the beat gets slower
You'll know it's my time to wave "goodbye"

Feel my withered body
Scarred from a battle within
Touch the bumps and bruises
That parade upon my skin

Tell me this is not the body
Of an overworked soul
Tell me this is not the body
Of a young woman turned cold

Copyright © Ineedanap ... [ 2005-08-11 00:49:47]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Young woman turned cold (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 10:38:38 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I'm surprised no one has commented. Visualization of the emotional tones is good in this piece.

"Listen to my heartbeat
It's never told a lie"
I like those lines.
A dark write, but well done.
Blessings, J.

Re: Young woman turned cold (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 01:29:39 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Beautiful poem, loved it. SLipSiX. I know how you feel.

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