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Array
(
[sid] => 102209
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Ground Zero
[time] => 2005-07-28 16:45:28
[hometext] => Just left there and wrote this on the cab ride back to the hotel. A personal write yes but it needs work so input and thoughts are appreciated.
[bodytext] => I stand and gaze at hallowed grounds
What once stood is no more
Nearly four years have passed
Yet an eeriness, a reverence prevails
Listen closely you can hear all the cries
Voices from those lost, those that lost
The emptiness that now exists
Hinders the imagination of what once was
Reading the names upon the wall
Silently weeping, my heart fallen
Each in their own right a fallen hero
Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers
Innocently robbed of so much life
Each with a story screaming to be told
Name after name an endless procession
Suddenly it jumps at me as if in bold
Your name stands out, my heart screams
I openly cry, tears for a stranger
My fingers attempting to feel
To absorb each and every letter
We never met, never talked
Introduced through stories and photos
Tears form in her eyes as each story is retold
She still weeps, she still aches, she misses so
Once again I look upon these hallowed grounds
I picture you rushing without thought to safety
Into what was to become your own tomb
Attempting to rescue those unknown to you
They will rebuild but never replace
A reminder so others never forget
This family with so many fallen before their time
You our fallen hero that forever will remain
In our speech, in our thoughts, in our hearts
OhSaige
-S-S-
[comments] => 7
[counter] => 435
[topic] => 48
[informant] => OhSaige
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 20
[ratings] => 4
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => EmotionalPoetry
)
Ground Zero
Contributed by
OhSaige
on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 04:45:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I stand and gaze at hallowed grounds
What once stood is no more
Nearly four years have passed
Yet an eeriness, a reverence prevails
Listen closely you can hear all the cries
Voices from those lost, those that lost
The emptiness that now exists
Hinders the imagination of what once was
Reading the names upon the wall
Silently weeping, my heart fallen
Each in their own right a fallen hero
Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers
Innocently robbed of so much life
Each with a story screaming to be told
Name after name an endless procession
Suddenly it jumps at me as if in bold
Your name stands out, my heart screams
I openly cry, tears for a stranger
My fingers attempting to feel
To absorb each and every letter
We never met, never talked
Introduced through stories and photos
Tears form in her eyes as each story is retold
She still weeps, she still aches, she misses so
Once again I look upon these hallowed grounds
I picture you rushing without thought to safety
Into what was to become your own tomb
Attempting to rescue those unknown to you
They will rebuild but never replace
A reminder so others never forget
This family with so many fallen before their time
You our fallen hero that forever will remain
In our speech, in our thoughts, in our hearts
OhSaige
-S-S-
Copyright ©
OhSaige
... [
2005-07-28 16:45:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Ground Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 05:37:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Good write, i can imagine how you felt. "My fingers trying to feel" is a great line. Christopher. |
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Re: Ground Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 05:56:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Very well done...you wrote this with haunting detail...it's a gruesome tragedy that will not be forgotten. Excellent job with this piece.
Scorp. |
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Re: Ground Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by vibes2go on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 07:09:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| My heart was feeling along with your words .. |
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Re: Ground Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 10:32:54 PM AEST
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You've done remarkably well here. I, too, have been to ground zero - arriving there last October... years after the tragic events of 9/11. And it is... just as you've described. I absolutely don't mean to imply that what you've written is common or cliche and I certainly recognize that it is a most personal experience that you've conveyed - but gosh, yeh... I felt so similarly. There is so very much that one feels when standing there - and you've managed to put so much of that on the page... I'm terribly impressed.
On a technical note, I adore that you did this in free verse... I suspect something would have been lost had you attempted to fit it into some predetermine format and/or into rhyme. I was, though, a tad confused by who "she" and "her" referred to in the last two lines of the third stanza (are you referring to yourself here? I guessed you may have been - but was thrown by the fact that you used the first person "I" elsewhere when doing so...).
I found this enormously relatable, and yet - truly a personal write. And that... that, dear poet, is the essense of great poetry. Well done!
Remembering,
~Snemmy~
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Re: Ground Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 11:31:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I find this to be exhilirating. I know that sounds strange, but those were the feeling I had when I visited. I was breathless, shaken, tears pouring I was not even aware of. You can still feel then there. Besides the Vietnam Memorial Wall I don't think anything has ever touched me so much. Your work is tremendous. Thank you so for sharing your feelings with us.
 |
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Re: Ground Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by CarolinaBlue on
Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 12:44:30 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
This was a phenomenal write. It was a terrible tragedy I will never forget. As I was reading through this the tears started to well up all over again. I lost three friends that I went to school with that day and my Uncle was working in the pentagon when the plane crashed there, luckily he was unharmed, but the visions and feelings are as fresh now as they were then. Thank you for such a heartfelt account of your visit. They will never be forgotten.....
~Blue~ |
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Re: Ground Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 13th July 2006 @ 01:07:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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You have relayed your experience amazingly in this poem. It's going on five years now since this tragic event happened and I must admit in the last couple of years I have been rapped up, so to say, in my own experiences of tragic events. So, I thank you for the reminder that I needed....a kick in the butt, if I can say that here. You really took me back and took me there with you in this poem.
You've done an awesome thing here and I thank you.
Tim
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