Array
(
[sid] => 186502
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Barbed Wire Heart
[time] => 2019-08-31 05:07:19
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => empty spaces that used to be lived in
the unexpected flashes, so vivid
this city screams with the silence of your absence
sweltering summer days holding your hand
memories fade and it’s not what I planned
she tells me you miss me and I lose my balance
but the way it breaks my heart doesn’t compare
to the fear I choke on that you might not care
the more days and weeks go by that I’m not there
and this emptiness echoes
through endless caverns composed
of a whole life’s worth of give and take
I try so **** hard to explain
but you know I choose my words carefully
not a single line crafted arbitrarily
there’s a whole world inside of me that no one knows
seeing ghosts in the corners of my eyes
all the things I can’t compartmentalize
and I think all these cracks might be starting to show
so I admit I’m just a little bit scared
of a rift I won’t be able to repair
and of those eyes seeing into my despair
bitten nails and stomach aches
and bad dreams of old mistakes
streaming tears, aches and pains come and go
I feel alone but I just stay home
it’s such a cliché to say I’m in pain
to write metaphors about feelings and rain
and scream so loud about how no one understands
but it feels like setting my nerves on fire
and wrapping my heart up in barbed wire
to cut myself open, then reach for barren hands
[comments] => 3
[counter] => 79
[topic] => 61
[informant] => MoonlitAngel
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 0
[ratings] => 0
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => selfstruggles
)
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