Array
(
    [sid] => 183255
    [catid] => 1
    [aid] => mick
    [title] => You Are A Great Guy...So Kill Me Now
    [time] => 2016-06-14 19:25:25
    [hometext] => Again sorry transferring this post to original account
    [bodytext] => The following is not my normal prose. It is a TRUE STORY--IT IS ME or part of me and it is my life and my isolation. some may think less of me but I am an honest caring man who would never intentionally harm nor take advantage of another. This is written off the cuff - no edits or reviews. it is me exposed and naked - so hate me or empathize... you are free to your own thoughts. I will not judge. I will not hate.<br />
<br />
<br />
 You Are A Great Guy...So Kill Me Now<br />
<br />
 "You are a great guy" she says<br />
 "you are so handsome"<br />
 yeah right <br />
 what does it matter<br />
 Parole is too much for you<br />
 I have no life<br />
 I have no love...<br />
 Not reflected at least.<br />
 I knew better<br />
 I should not have hoped for love.<br />
<br />
 ...I did not mean to commit a crime<br />
 did not know at the time that I had<br />
 misinformation and all<br />
 I was messed up <br />
 mentally <br />
 emotionally<br />
 a long story in itself<br />
 does not matter <br />
 I was stupid <br />
 bad decision so its my fault<br />
 I should have known better<br />
 I take the responsibility of it all<br />
 I have been single and celibate 8 years since<br />
 Punishment to myself<br />
 by my own hand.<br />
 and yes I have had opportunities <br />
 but I will not sleep with just anyone<br />
 I am choosy <br />
 I need more than that.<br />
 A beautiful woman can have nothing inside<br />
 Yes, I appreciate beauty<br />
 but I need what they hold inside as well<br />
 this can make a woman<br />
 More beautiful each moment <br />
 she is revealed before you.<br />
 Each moment you hold her<br />
 and know her.<br />
<br />
 Prison is better than this<br />
 several years I have paid<br />
 but in prison you have no expectations<br />
 and your hopes and dreams can survive<br />
 Out here<br />
 They are crushed<br />
 The restrictions do that <br />
 they crush you<br />
 They do nothing to nurture a meaningful friendship<br />
 they crush the chance at an intimate relation<br />
 so no there are no healthy meaningful relationships<br />
 they are not within reach<br />
 though the lack of walls...<br />
 No they are still there<br />
 And I am alone.<br />
<br />
 Its funny...<br />
 I have had contracts taken out on my life<br />
 Gang jumped <br />
 Toe to toe with 6 or 7 other guys<br />
 And have never been taken down<br />
 not once<br />
 I do not consider myself tough<br />
 But I survived <br />
 and always on my feet<br />
 Yet,<br />
 I am brought down <br />
 My isolation, my loneliness,<br />
<br />
 Eight years alone<br />
 No one to talk to <br />
 not really<br />
 I found my groove of being alone<br />
 I was ok<br />
 But I was wrong to sip that wine<br />
 to taste of you <br />
 your beauty<br />
 your heart<br />
 I opened barriers held so long<br />
 I allowed myself to love you<br />
 you were lovely strong and intelligent<br />
 Strong enough you believed<br />
 to handle my limits<br />
 but no...<br />
 Parole is too much<br />
 Like a faucet shut off<br />
 "goodbye"<br />
<br />
 Driving home <br />
 I pulled over<br />
 cried like a baby<br />
 No its not fair<br />
 but I was wrong to love you<br />
 I knew better<br />
 No body is strong enough<br />
 to cope with my parole<br />
 I tasted that wine<br />
 Sipped it and alone again<br />
 I die inside<br />
 I felt hope<br />
 when I should not have<br />
 too soon<br />
 3 more years<br />
 I lost my groove of being alone<br />
 Being alone is different from<br />
 letting oneself feel the bitterness of it.<br />
 I knew better<br />
<br />
 "your Handsome"<br />
 "your a great guy"<br />
 it means nothing <br />
 if you cannot share what makes you great<br />
 I said that I have very little<br />
 but I have a great heart<br />
 it holds love sincere and true<br />
 It has been beaten and broken <br />
 Yet, it still holds such love<br />
 it was yours for the taking<br />
 If I say I care about you<br />
 It is not only because of what you mean to me<br />
 yes that is part<br />
 it is important<br />
 but I care about who and what you are<br />
 most cannot say that<br />
 I would rather you live without me in happiness<br />
 than with me in misery<br />
 Yes, I knew better<br />
<br />
 an echo in my head<br />
 "your a great guy...<br />
 so kill me now<br />
<br />
 I shall sip the poison from your hand <br />
 as willingly<br />
 as I sipped the wine of you.<br />
<br />
 --wheels--<br />
    [comments] => 2
    [counter] => 205
    [topic] => 22
    [informant] => wheels
    [notes] => 
    [ihome] => 0
    [alanguage] => english
    [acomm] => 0
    [haspoll] => 0
    [pollID] => 0
    [score] => 0
    [ratings] => 0
    [editpoem] => 1
    [associated] => 
    [topicname] => LostLove
)
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    <title>Your Poetry Dot Com - You Are A Great Guy...So Kill Me Now</title>
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                                                            <b>You Are A Great Guy...So Kill Me Now</b>
                                                        </font><br>
                                                        <font class="tiny"><b>Date:</b> Tuesday, 14th June 2016 @ 07:25:25 PM AEST<br><b>Topic:</b> Sad Poetry</font><br><br>
                                                        <font class="content">Contributed By: wheels<br><br>
                                                        </font>
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                                                    <font class="content">
                                                       The following is not my normal prose. It is a TRUE STORY--IT IS ME or part of me and it is my life and my isolation. some may think less of me but I am an honest caring man who would never intentionally harm nor take advantage of another. This is written off the cuff - no edits or reviews. it is me exposed and naked - so hate me or empathize... you are free to your own thoughts. I will not judge. I will not hate.<br />
<br />
<br />
 You Are A Great Guy...So Kill Me Now<br />
<br />
 "You are a great guy" she says<br />
 "you are so handsome"<br />
 yeah right <br />
 what does it matter<br />
 Parole is too much for you<br />
 I have no life<br />
 I have no love...<br />
 Not reflected at least.<br />
 I knew better<br />
 I should not have hoped for love.<br />
<br />
 ...I did not mean to commit a crime<br />
 did not know at the time that I had<br />
 misinformation and all<br />
 I was messed up <br />
 mentally <br />
 emotionally<br />
 a long story in itself<br />
 does not matter <br />
 I was stupid <br />
 bad decision so its my fault<br />
 I should have known better<br />
 I take the responsibility of it all<br />
 I have been single and celibate 8 years since<br />
 Punishment to myself<br />
 by my own hand.<br />
 and yes I have had opportunities <br />
 but I will not sleep with just anyone<br />
 I am choosy <br />
 I need more than that.<br />
 A beautiful woman can have nothing inside<br />
 Yes, I appreciate beauty<br />
 but I need what they hold inside as well<br />
 this can make a woman<br />
 More beautiful each moment <br />
 she is revealed before you.<br />
 Each moment you hold her<br />
 and know her.<br />
<br />
 Prison is better than this<br />
 several years I have paid<br />
 but in prison you have no expectations<br />
 and your hopes and dreams can survive<br />
 Out here<br />
 They are crushed<br />
 The restrictions do that <br />
 they crush you<br />
 They do nothing to nurture a meaningful friendship<br />
 they crush the chance at an intimate relation<br />
 so no there are no healthy meaningful relationships<br />
 they are not within reach<br />
 though the lack of walls...<br />
 No they are still there<br />
 And I am alone.<br />
<br />
 Its funny...<br />
 I have had contracts taken out on my life<br />
 Gang jumped <br />
 Toe to toe with 6 or 7 other guys<br />
 And have never been taken down<br />
 not once<br />
 I do not consider myself tough<br />
 But I survived <br />
 and always on my feet<br />
 Yet,<br />
 I am brought down <br />
 My isolation, my loneliness,<br />
<br />
 Eight years alone<br />
 No one to talk to <br />
 not really<br />
 I found my groove of being alone<br />
 I was ok<br />
 But I was wrong to sip that wine<br />
 to taste of you <br />
 your beauty<br />
 your heart<br />
 I opened barriers held so long<br />
 I allowed myself to love you<br />
 you were lovely strong and intelligent<br />
 Strong enough you believed<br />
 to handle my limits<br />
 but no...<br />
 Parole is too much<br />
 Like a faucet shut off<br />
 "goodbye"<br />
<br />
 Driving home <br />
 I pulled over<br />
 cried like a baby<br />
 No its not fair<br />
 but I was wrong to love you<br />
 I knew better<br />
 No body is strong enough<br />
 to cope with my parole<br />
 I tasted that wine<br />
 Sipped it and alone again<br />
 I die inside<br />
 I felt hope<br />
 when I should not have<br />
 too soon<br />
 3 more years<br />
 I lost my groove of being alone<br />
 Being alone is different from<br />
 letting oneself feel the bitterness of it.<br />
 I knew better<br />
<br />
 "your Handsome"<br />
 "your a great guy"<br />
 it means nothing <br />
 if you cannot share what makes you great<br />
 I said that I have very little<br />
 but I have a great heart<br />
 it holds love sincere and true<br />
 It has been beaten and broken <br />
 Yet, it still holds such love<br />
 it was yours for the taking<br />
 If I say I care about you<br />
 It is not only because of what you mean to me<br />
 yes that is part<br />
 it is important<br />
 but I care about who and what you are<br />
 most cannot say that<br />
 I would rather you live without me in happiness<br />
 than with me in misery<br />
 Yes, I knew better<br />
<br />
 an echo in my head<br />
 "your a great guy...<br />
 so kill me now<br />
<br />
 I shall sip the poison from your hand <br />
 as willingly<br />
 as I sipped the wine of you.<br />
<br />
 --wheels--<br />                                                        <br>
                                                        <br>This poem is Copyright © wheels<br><br>
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