Array ( [sid] => 181711 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Strength [time] => 2015-09-03 14:53:50 [hometext] => this is a glimpse into my struggles and my life. if it helps you, please feel free to share. [bodytext] => The words in my head
Are different from my heart
My life turned upside down
I don't know where to start

Being molested as a child
To a cutter as a teen
It is no wonder
I started smoking green

By the age of twenty
I was raped twice
In this game of life
I rolled unlucky dice

Needing a fresh start
So I could be my best
I hopped on a plane
That was headed out west

I joined the navy
And began to grow
I was so happy
You could see my glow

Weeks turned to months
Months turned to years
I enjoyed it so much
I left behind all my fears

Then one night
I was out with friends
He decided to rape me
That's where the good ends

For two months
I hid the truth
All the feelings rushed back
From my time as a youth

NCIS didn't believe me
They thought it was a lie
I felt as small as an ant
I just wanted to die

A year and a half later
I get out as retired
Everyone thinks it is awesome
I feel like I got fired

I get kicked out
While he stayed in
That isn't fair
Why did he win

Battling several mental illnesses
Takes a toll on my soul
I can't help but feel
My life is what they stole

But somewhere deep
Inside of me
I have the strength to fight
So I can be free

Free of this torment
And free from the shame
I need this strength
To know I'm not to blame

No child asks
To be molested
Nothing that we did
Made it even suggested

Then to finally grow up
And have it happen even more
Sometimes I can't control it
Thoughts of being dead on the floor

But as I am writing this
I am standing tall
I might be a bit broken
But I refuse to fall

I want to share my story
I want to let it be known
If you are struggling with a mental illness
You are not alone

I've struggled with suicide
For a few years
My pillow caught
Over a million tears

From pills to a rope
I carefully thought out a plan
I wanted it to be over
I didn't give a damn

I seriously thought about it
Then realized there is more to life
I'm so lucky to be alive
Because I found a beautiful wife

If you are struggling with suicide
Please reread about my life
Know you will be missed
So put away that knife

Please don't give in
To the demons inside
We need to stand together
To show them we have nothing to hide

The struggle is real
It is a fight every night
Please just remember
Everything will be alright [comments] => 5 [counter] => 183 [topic] => 65 [informant] => sbhottie288 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => toughstuff ) Your Poetry Dot Com - Strength


Strength
Date: Thursday, 3rd September 2015 @ 02:53:50 PM AEST
Topic: Sad Poetry

Contributed By: sbhottie288
The words in my head
Are different from my heart
My life turned upside down
I don't know where to start

Being molested as a child
To a cutter as a teen
It is no wonder
I started smoking green

By the age of twenty
I was raped twice
In this game of life
I rolled unlucky dice

Needing a fresh start
So I could be my best
I hopped on a plane
That was headed out west

I joined the navy
And began to grow
I was so happy
You could see my glow

Weeks turned to months
Months turned to years
I enjoyed it so much
I left behind all my fears

Then one night
I was out with friends
He decided to rape me
That's where the good ends

For two months
I hid the truth
All the feelings rushed back
From my time as a youth

NCIS didn't believe me
They thought it was a lie
I felt as small as an ant
I just wanted to die

A year and a half later
I get out as retired
Everyone thinks it is awesome
I feel like I got fired

I get kicked out
While he stayed in
That isn't fair
Why did he win

Battling several mental illnesses
Takes a toll on my soul
I can't help but feel
My life is what they stole

But somewhere deep
Inside of me
I have the strength to fight
So I can be free

Free of this torment
And free from the shame
I need this strength
To know I'm not to blame

No child asks
To be molested
Nothing that we did
Made it even suggested

Then to finally grow up
And have it happen even more
Sometimes I can't control it
Thoughts of being dead on the floor

But as I am writing this
I am standing tall
I might be a bit broken
But I refuse to fall

I want to share my story
I want to let it be known
If you are struggling with a mental illness
You are not alone

I've struggled with suicide
For a few years
My pillow caught
Over a million tears

From pills to a rope
I carefully thought out a plan
I wanted it to be over
I didn't give a damn

I seriously thought about it
Then realized there is more to life
I'm so lucky to be alive
Because I found a beautiful wife

If you are struggling with suicide
Please reread about my life
Know you will be missed
So put away that knife

Please don't give in
To the demons inside
We need to stand together
To show them we have nothing to hide

The struggle is real
It is a fight every night
Please just remember
Everything will be alright

This poem is Copyright © sbhottie288


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