Your Poetry Dot Com - I miss you.

i cant believe your gone
but your not gone forever
your not dead
you are safe
i have to keep telling myself that
because i miss you so
i cry these tears,
when i know i shouldnt
you havnt left forever
your coming back in a year
ill be 15
ill be a sophmore
i cant believe your missing my freshman year
you wont be there to stand up for me
when the seniors come
you wont be able to tell them no
i want you to be happy, as best you can
and right now it may feel like everyones against you
but im here
are you should know that
i know that you are the best
no matter what ***** you did
you are the best brother
you are the best friend
you are the best person
the family will miss you here
you wont be here to stand up for me when mom yells
you wont be here when mom cries
i keep checking your room
thinking maybe hes home now
thinking its just another long night
where you stay out late
and mom gets mad
but your not coming back tonight are you?
not tomorrow night
or the night after
a year will go by
summer, winter, fall, spring
and you will be somewhere else
today mom told grandma pat what happened
pat started crying over the phone
i didnt want her too
it made mom cry
again
i just want you to come back,
come home
i dont care if your drunk, stoned
whatever, just be here again
your room is empty
no more of your music
no more of your smell
no more of you
i want you tell me you love me
just one time
i know your my older brother, and your not supposed to
but i just want to hear you say it
once
i want you to know that im sorry
sorry for all our silly arguements
sorry for all the times i made you do my chores
but the thing is that i dont want ot be alone
its just a mother
and its just a daughter
in a perfect house
we need you here sam, dont you see?
im not against you
i have no side
i dont want to choose
i love you both
except once, i told my friend
i told her that i if i had to put my family in order of who i loved the most
you would go first
i saw you everyday
so it was like you didnt matter
but thats not true
i would always tell you i hated you
i told you i wanted you to go away
but i was lying
i dont hate you
i love you
i dont want you to go away
i want you to stay with me
you filled up the respect jar
i remember the night i made that
i was mad
i felt like i was the mom, and you and mom were the kids
but i should have told you that your obnoxious remarks to mom
were really funny
you dont realize how great something is
until its gone
until it seeps through your fingers like sand
and your just doing your best
to pick up the peices
when you cant seem to find a single one
i love you bro
i miss you bro

This poem is Copyright © LittleGurl_14