“What if a demon were to creep after you one night, in your loneliest loneliness, and say, 'This life which you live must be lived by you once again and innumerable times more; and every pain and joy and thought and sigh must come again to you, all in the same sequence. The eternal hourglass will again and again be turned and you with it, dust of the dust!' Would you throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse that demon? Or would you answer, 'Never have I heard anything more divine'?”
~ Friedrich Nietzsche
Well, for me... the demon arrives annually.... 'round about midnight, New Year's Eve. We twist and turn and spin in a bizarre dance - looking back, looking forward, holding on... and sometimes flailing out of control. We dance until exhaustion takes us--- and some mad, mad part of me wouldn't have it any other way. The demon though.... well.... he probably thinks I'm a pain in the tail!
(Ah... doncha jus' love nostalgic moments?!?)
Anyway...
This year - the dance went something like this...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
............. It came, blue tinted,
..On a snowflake’s back
....... To taunt, to tease –
.............Its familiar, long fingers
..Clawing at me,
....... Saying
..“Here..............is the end
.............Again”
....... It seemed, this Time,
..More urgent, needful,
...............Somehow… even
.............more
..Necessary
........................But..... I
.............Could only
..............................whisper
..“Please...
.............................Stop.”
..........It was too much
..........And too little
..........And not enough
..........And..... more..... than..... I
..............................Could have imagined
..Though
..........It wasn’t even
..Mine,
........................This
..........Time
................That held me
............in its grasp,
.......That
..I held then..... in my hands.
..And I loved it…
................Even…
........................As it continued
................To s...h...r...e...d me.
..We stood there,
..................we two
............ Without trappings,
.......absent words
................Staring at each other
..................... In a macabre
..tug-of-war
................ Of .........will.
................I, unable
..To let go
................And
................It…
................Wondering
................ What
........................ To
.....................................Do
..With
................That.
..I think
....... It somehow understood…
................That
..I ....... just ..... needed
................A little more
.......time;
................ It was
..After all –
........................ A very
.......... Different
......................................... Year.
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