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(A poem) Looking for a few opinions if you please.
Secrets of eternity
A billion suns yet wait for me,
To a greater tranquility.
Soul’s hope are the rays of gold,
Invisibly springs in manifold.
From light that makes the sun feel dark.
From worlds that men cannot embark.
I pray and dream for hope to see,
The secrets of eternity!
Here I wait in temporal travel,
Stuck between the sky and gravel.
In this world of music and art,
I play my little poet’s part.
I place within the deepest wells,
The stories that my future tells.
Unknown they are, but soon will see,
The secrets of eternity!
There I go on foot and flights,
With backpack strapped in metal kites.
I’ll know the peoples of every land.
I’ll kiss their lips and join their band.
I’ll join them round the village flame,
For that is where I find my fame.
Writing in journals are the souls I see,
The secrets of eternity!
Perhaps I’ll take myself a mate,
To travel on through every gate.
I care not if, it’s women or man,
For all souls make that final stand.
So come with me my soul companion.
Let’s walk the walls in hidden canyons.
And you and I, we both will see,
The secrets of eternity!
The greatest gift is when we’re old,
Living in those days of gold.
We’ll leave together to travel and run,
Far off past this lonely sun.
And back to where all souls go to,
To unlock the riddles of every clue.
Then flying to other suns we’ll see,
The secrets of eternity!
Re: (A poem) Looking for a few opinions if you please.
Hi poetsoul! Welcome to YPDC!
If this is your own work, the best way to get feedback/comments is to post it in the poetry section as opposed to putting it here in the forums. To do so, use the "Submit Poetry" link that appears in the upper left of the menu column on the left side of your screen. Alternatively, if this is a poem by another writer that you are looking to discuss - you should represent it as such, identify the author and provide some commentary to open the discussion.
Thought I'd pop in and mention the above as the majority of YPDC members do not comment on poetry when it is posted without explanation in the forums. I hope you find this helpful!
~Snemmy
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