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Choices
Contributed by wachumiri
on Thursday, 16th February 2006 @ 12:40:16 PM AEST
Topic:
love
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My story, my life begins… no, that would take too long. My love began like any other day would. Not even a breath of hope, a whisper of what could be, what I now know would be.
Walking home, Fate declared that I should not walk my normal route, the way I always did. Construction, roadblock, I don’t remember what it was, I just know that the world conspired, seeing our two lives, wishing to make them one. Fate, the world, the universe, all saw us fit to meet, so we did, for we had no choice.
A deli looked good; sure I’ll eat there. Nothing at home anyway. She’s in front of me, but I don’t see her. Well, my eyes did, but my Mind and Heart did not, they were busy arguing with my Soul, debating on a few things. When to buy groceries, what to buy, if we could wait until my normal route was open, if we should call someone to find out, all these arguments I don’t take part in, but I do find them interesting and informative at times, for they talk about me often. It’s always good to know what your heart and soul think about you.
“Tomatoes?” “Yes, please. Oh… sorry, I thought you were talking to me.” Happens all the time, I drown out the world, and it breathes back on me when I least expect it to. I was used to looking like a fool, and it’s easier when there’s no one that knows you, yet harder at the same time. No friend to tell all your other friends about what happened, but still, the world has a cruel way at laughing mercilessly at strangers, and friends are indispensable at times like that. She smiled… she smiled and went back to her order. I again left this world, this time because of her. Her smile. However corny it may sound, I found all my wishes, desires, hopes, dreams, all my loves… she’d awakened everything with her smile. My Mind, Heart, and Soul were no longer interested in tomorrow, for today had turned into what I could only have wished tomorrow would be. With her smile. Darn it, I loved her smile!
I’m jolted back, this time because the register has closed, and the bell shattered my thoughts. She walked away, and I let her. The only thing she’d offered me was her smile, and I’d taken it. If Fate desired, that would be enough, but Fate held other plans. While my Mind, Heart, and Soul whispered of her smile, trying to give it words, I ordered (With a witty remark to remove any miss thoughts he might have about my mental equilibrium), paid, and turned to sit down. I’d already placed my things at a booth, because that’s what I do. She was sitting at my booth. Normally I’d put a notebook, something on the table, but this time I hadn’t, I’d set all my things on the seat, and she hadn’t seen them. Or she’s stalking you. Thank you, Mind, I needed the comic relief.
“Uh… hi…” It would seem that I’m hitting on her now, that I’m following her. “Hi,” she said, in a questioning voice. You’re scaring her. Shut up, Heart!
And now it’s my turn to speak. Anything I say could appear rude, and even if it doesn’t, it will make her feel bad. I ask my Heart for soft words, but he’s too busy staring at her eyes, visiting her Soul.
“I… um… this is my table.” You idiot! I seem to have awakened my heart… “I left my things here before getting in line.” I point to my belongings as if to validate my words, but mostly because my hands needed something to do, the sandwich was getting too heavy. Leaning forward, she sees my things. Horror fills her face. The kind of horror you get after you break something that belongs to another, the kind that comes when you find out that you just said something that broke your friend’s heart. Feeling like a jerk because you think others must think of you as one, a self-loathing almost. Shut your thoughts and say something!
“Therefore,” I say quickly, trying not to let the horror find words, “this being my table and all, I would like to share it with you.” What, trying humor now? A small bit of the uncomfortable horror remained, and voiced its thoughts. “Oh, I couldn’t, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” She starts to get up and I set my tray down, and hold my hand out, as if to stop her. “That is why you’ve got to stay. Well, that and the fact that all the other tables and booths are taken. Besides, you’re already comfortable.” Nice. Be quiet! Hard enough to think when she’s looking at me!
And so it was that I first met her, and told her my name, while my Heart kept on trying to tell her without words, through the eyes, dumb comments, anything that hearts use to communicate with each other, trying to tell her that I loved her. My Mind knew he was being irrational, that Fate came out of his way to give me her smile. My Mind said we shouldn’t ask too much, that we shouldn’t tax Fate. But my Heart kept at it, for hearts rarely listen to reason, and that is their beauty.
We talked and ate, then talked some more. At times you’re able to love with such viciousness that even Time is dethroned, for he means nothing to Love. My Heart was beating my Mind, and I liked it, looking on with my Soul, for my Soul, the wisest of the three, knew the wisdom of silence. We talked, she and I, until the sun grew tired of watching our story, and sent the moon, who never tires of romance.
Time, at last, tired of solitude, broke free and returned, sending a few subtle hints of his presence, and some not so subtle ones. One not so subtle was the deli closing. Love had come down on us and sheltered us from all she could, but Time had broken through, and surely Doubt wasn’t too far behind. If Doubt desires to part her Heart and I, my Heart said, then let’s make him work for it.
“There’s a park, three blocks that way,” I said, pointing down the main street, “with a beautiful lake with a bridge crossing it. If you want to take a walk…” That’s it, my Heart said, help Love, but don’t push it. Follow Love’s lead; trust her, not me.
She looked at me, her eyes saw mine, and our souls spoke words that only they understand. My Soul told hers that I had only pure intentions, and souls never lie, for they speak with the angels, and with God.
“My apartment is a block toward the park anyway, I’ll drop my things off there. If you want, you can leave anything there too.” Um, what are you thinking? My mind asked. I guess I do have a dirty Mind. “Ok,” she answered, trusting Love with everything. And that is well, for only then can Love do all she wishes, when we trust Fate, and let go of our world.
We walked in silence, not because we had nothing to say (by now, after all the afternoon of conversation, she could write a small novel about my life), but because our hearts wished to talk now, and we knew well enough to not interrupt them, for silence is their dialogue, and the moon has illuminated the stars that guide their words.
It was about 9 pm, so the city was still awake, and people walked past us, and I wondered if Fate had ever touched their lives. I wondered if that ring meant Love had found him, or if it meant he had given in to the pressures of life, and now followed routine and not his heart. I wondered if that necklace meant that Love had told her to wait, and Hope held her at night, or if it was a gift from a lover that had left her, and she had kept it so that she could remember what had been, living in the past, the present lost to her. I wondered if he was in a hurry because he knew his love awaited him, or because he mistrusted her. I wondered if those eyes had shed tears of happiness, and weren’t always the cold ones that had just passed me by. Then again, maybe we were in silence because I let my thoughts wander too often. Either way, my door was now before us. I punched in the code, and the door gave us access into a room with couches, a coffee table, doors, and hallways.
I turned toward her. “Wait here. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea from me inviting you up to my apartment, so I won’t, but I’ll take anything you want to drop off.” “Thank you,” she said, and her eyes told me she meant it. I took her book bag and my things, and made my way to my room. I put my things on the floor, and hers on the table. You just didn’t want her to see how messy you are, my Heart declared. He had wanted her to come up, and now felt like he must say something. My Mind, convinced by now, knew this, but answered unprovoked. We have done well, Heart. Seeing his apartment after knowing him for less than a day… that would have been too much. I had no time to listen to them, talking of the habits they wanted me to change; they always spoke like this, so I grabbed a jacket and a small blanket, and left my room.
She stood when I entered the waiting room, and I put the jacket on, and put the blanket around her shoulders. The first time I touched her skin. I’d felt her heart and soul, but not her skin, and touching her skin meant nothing, because her heart meant so much more. I gave no explanation as to why I got a jacket and she a blanket, and she asked for none, for we both knew that blankets needed constant pulling up and adjusting. Ah, so you lied when you said touch meant nothing? Shut up, Heart!
She thanked me, and we began our walk toward the park. She asked if it was dangerous here at night. I told her that I came out every few nights to write, and all the night had ever taken from me was sleep. The lake had taken a pen once, but that was okay. For all the beauty and words it gave me, the lake could keep the pen, an offering of sorts. By now we were at the bridge, and my Heart told my Mind to speak no more.
Looking down, then up, I couldn’t decide which was the reflection. She picked up a pebble and threw it in. “Why did you do that?” I asked, “Why do we always have the urge to make the peaceful water break into ripples?” She gazed in deep thought at the water for a while, then turned toward me and answered. “Because it’s like life. When it’s peaceful and placid, everything in its place, that’s when we decide to break loose, to do something different with our lives, something that really means something. It’s just that at times we need someone else to throw a pebble into our lives.” Immediately I saw, I knew what she meant. The roadblock had been a pebble, and the deli a ripple.
“Why were you at the deli?” I asked, wondering how hard Fate had worked. “Do you normally go there?” “Funny you ask,” she answered slowly, beginning to understand now what she had said. “No. I was just visiting a friend who’d been in an accident. He swerved off the road, barely missing a German Shepherd, but the telephone pole… he hit it hard, knocked it over.” Leaning over the railing of the bridge, I uttered the street names. “Yes,” she said, “how did you know?” Amazement held her voice, and it held my Heart. I looked at the stars and knew that they shone for us tonight.
When we’d spoken, I’d told her my story, my past, anecdotes, everything that seemed interesting at the time, never thinking to bring up why I was there. I told her now of the pebble in my life that had brought me there. Up until this moment my Soul had been silent (comparatively), but now he spoke. I held her hand and spoke of Love. It was the first time either one of us had brought up Love, apart from past bruises and bloodied hearts. I spoke of Love now; I spoke as if I had never known Love until now, because that is what my Heart told me. I spoke my Heart dry, and my Soul too, though my Mind had nothing to say. At last I could hold my tongue no more, and I articulated in human language, for that of the angels escaped me. “If I say I love you, it’s because the world thought that we’ve had enough of heartbreaks. Because Fate grew tired of our mundane lives, and I trust he has a better plan. Because Love wanted us to break free from the hold of Pain, and learn to trust her again. If I say I love you, it is because God has taught me to love, and I wish to show Him what I’ve learned.” She unclasped my hand, and we looked down, losing eye contact, maybe I’d said too much. My Heart, Mind and Soul, all in me, all of me, held our breath. At last she raised her eyes to my searching ones, and her hands to my cheeks. She pulled me to her lips and kissed me. My Heart wept, for he that always had words, even voiceless ones, felt complete with utter silence.
“Don’t wait for answers when no questions have been asked. And don’t try to say what words cannot express.”
“Then I love you, and that is all.”
Copyright © wachumiri
... [2006-02-1612:40:16]
(Date/Time posted on site)
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Re: Ripples of Life
(User Rating: 1)
by MorningDove on Saturday, 18th February 2006 @ 10:50:48 PM AEST
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This is an absolutely amazing write. I felt the strain and nervousness of a new romantic experience and all the flutters and misses of the heart and the doubts that one has about what to say or do or how to stand or smile. It was perfect to the inner thoughts, like friends trying to help, but really just getting in the way and prolonging the fears. Wonderful write. I love happy endings and this one was perfect.
Rita |
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Re: Ripples of Life
(User Rating: 1)
by Fionndruinne on Tuesday, 21st February 2006 @ 07:29:02 PM AEST
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It's no verra bad, master Fam, as I've said tae ye before noo.
Could be formatted better. Put a line of white space between each paragraph, like
so.
Of course, it's not finished. But hey, it has a certain ring to it.
Monticello |
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Re: Ripples of Life
(User Rating: 1)
by Former_Member on Wednesday, 22nd February 2006 @ 04:27:49 PM AEST
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Aww.
This is so sweet and touching,
and I love how you let us in to your thoughts,
and portrayed your Heart and Mind and Soul
as separate things, instead of just bunching
them up all together.
So lovely; I'm awfully glad for such an awesome start to my day.
Kaitlyn. |
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Re: Ripples of Life
(User Rating: 1)
by lostinmyself on Sunday, 26th February 2006 @ 11:26:23 PM AEST
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*grins*
You know I like this, I told you as much. Reading it here is a little different, it is after all typed, not written in messy handwriting ;)
Seriously, it's beautiful. That is what love should be like. And for some people, I guess that is what it is like...
I love the conversations between your mind and your heart, but I have to admit, reading it the second time I got a little confused with who was saying what. Maybe italics would work, I don't know.
I'm not actually sure you should change it at all.
Wonderful write my friend. You know that I love it.
*hugs*
Phil xxxx |
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Re: Ripples of Life
(User Rating: 1)
by lostinmyself on Monday, 6th March 2006 @ 06:34:21 PM AEST
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;)
Just thought I'd drop a quick note to say that I like it better now.
I definatly think it's easier to read and not as confusing.
Great write, my friend.
Keep smiling.
*hugs*
Phil xxx |
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Re: Ripples of Life
(User Rating: 1)
by faith_my_eyes on Tuesday, 7th March 2006 @ 12:43:04 PM AEST
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ever the hopeless romantic, aren't we, david? |
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Re: Ripples of Life
(User Rating: 1)
by brokengirl on Saturday, 1st April 2006 @ 10:00:26 PM AEST
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wow i love this write. It is very powerful and filled with the feelings and thoughts of love. It is what i wish for someday. For fate to bring me together with someone..i just hope that i will know when that day is when it comes. thanks for the write its amazing. |
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Re: Ripples of Life
(User Rating: 1)
by Lilly-Quill on Tuesday, 11th April 2006 @ 12:11:06 AM AEST
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"I spoke as if I had never known Love until now, because that is what my Heart told me. I spoke my Heart dry, and my Soul too, though my Mind had nothing to say."
This is wondrously enthusiastic of true-love, terribly romantic as well. Thank you for sharing, I thoroughly enjoyed.
Regards, ~Lilly-Quill |
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Re: Ripples of Life
(User Rating: 1)
by xxbreathlessx on Sunday, 23rd July 2006 @ 11:25:23 PM AEST
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i loved this story!...i guess there is a hopeless romantic somewhere deep,deep inside of me. you see, me and love...we arent the best of friends lol. but here, i have to say i laughed i sighed..i held my breath too! and well, when you have the power to do that, then you can go very far.
And you...you can go very far.
i have to say i loved how your character was so real..i mean the part where he tells her the table is his, i started cracking up. I guess me and him have that goofy kind of thing in common.
anyways, keep up the writing!! |
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Re: Ripples of Life
(User Rating: 1)
by sakuratsunade1 on Saturday, 19th January 2008 @ 03:36:27 PM AEST
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i said it once and i will most likely say it a million times you are a wonderful writer David! You have a truely amazing talent... this is a great story!
Sarah |
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Re: Ripples of Life
(User Rating: 1)
by juliestevens18 on Saturday, 12th April 2008 @ 08:55:30 AM AEST
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Wow! amazing story, great words, sentence structure, phrases, descriptions. this has the complete package. I am new here, and mostly write poetry, but I am very impressed!!!! |
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