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Array
(
[sid] => 83536
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Weathermen Predict 80% Chance 'Wintry Mix'
[time] => 2005-02-08 17:56:12
[hometext] => for Timebot's poetry challenge (one poem, ten haiku). Help me find a better title?
[bodytext] => he walked, alone,
down avenues paved in clouds--
cold; slick underfoot
idly, he wondered
if existence mandated
tangibility
appreciating
each crystalized sky-petal
that glazed store displays
they gleamed on shop panes,
making each opaque and dim
hiding the mirrors,
he not so eager
to see himself proven to
be nonexistent.
nevertheless, he,
in abashed humanity
and slightest humor,
paused once on his way
to smile directly at
the frost-blurred window
that his reflection,
should it happen to linger
nearby, would be warmed
and he could watch ice
glint in sunlight, trickle down,
smear the glass with slush--
and, of course, would see
his reflection's path, its proof . . .
to know it was there.
[comments] => 8
[counter] => 679
[topic] => 17
[informant] => ShadowDaughter
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 28
[ratings] => 6
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => Haiku
)
Weathermen Predict 80% Chance 'Wintry Mix'
Contributed by
ShadowDaughter
on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 05:56:12 PM in AEST
Topic:
Haiku
|
he walked, alone,
down avenues paved in clouds--
cold; slick underfoot
idly, he wondered
if existence mandated
tangibility
appreciating
each crystalized sky-petal
that glazed store displays
they gleamed on shop panes,
making each opaque and dim
hiding the mirrors,
he not so eager
to see himself proven to
be nonexistent.
nevertheless, he,
in abashed humanity
and slightest humor,
paused once on his way
to smile directly at
the frost-blurred window
that his reflection,
should it happen to linger
nearby, would be warmed
and he could watch ice
glint in sunlight, trickle down,
smear the glass with slush--
and, of course, would see
his reflection's path, its proof . . .
to know it was there.
Copyright ©
ShadowDaughter
... [
2005-02-08 17:56:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Weathermen Predict 80% Chance 'Wintry Mix'
(User Rating: 1 )
by breny on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 05:59:18 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
great haiku's Nora! i'm going to start this challenge as soon as i'm finished with the first challenge. :-D great job
~Brenna~ |
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Re: Weathermen Predict 80% Chance 'Wintry Mix'
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 06:02:19 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Great job Nora. I love the title, you should keep it. lol, I tried this challenge too but I like yours more. It flows alot better. :) |
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Re: Weathermen Predict 80% Chance 'Wintry Mix'
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 06:25:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Of course - i'm not sure what the title would be other than an obvious allusion to the poem's content, so i'll pass too.
I'm still wondering, however, if this poem is actually the first challenge and second in one? Like you alluded to - i'm reading into this . . .
hmn.
It flows wonderfully and is so adept, I forget the scheme behind it - in the foreground of reasoning. I'm sorry if this sounds weird - but i'm trying to comment whilst having the window focus stolen from chat. It's really - distracting!
Anyway - great stuff. Glad you posted again.
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Re: Weathermen Predict 80% Chance 'Wintry Mix'
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Wednesday, 9th February 2005 @ 01:43:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Wow Nora !!! I don't know what else to say ... just ... wow.
My Favorite ...
"idly, he wondered
if existence mandated
tangibility"
The whole concept is great ...
Nazzy ~ |
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Re: Weathermen Predict 80% Chance 'Wintry Mix'
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 10th February 2005 @ 04:36:40 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
OH YOU!!!
What else wonderful do you have hiding inside!!
Great job!! |
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Re: Weathermen Predict 80% Chance 'Wintry Mix'
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 06:21:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Damn...everytime I see a talented poet, I wish I could write like that, and then I see another!
This time it's you.
This is brilliant, Norry.
Do you write many Haikus? (Is that right? Haiku's? Haikii? O_o? Haiku?) Because I'm thinking you have a hidden talent here, if you don't.
Good write(s) hun,
*hugs* Phil xxx |
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Re: Weathermen Predict 80% Chance 'Wintry Mix'
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 01:50:24 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Wonderful haikus! I really liked the title. It was intriguing :-) |
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Re: Weathermen Predict 80% Chance 'Wintry Mix'
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 09:21:53 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Hmmm that was interesting, im not an expert in poetry so I wont know exactly how to give you a decisive comment; non the less I found your Haikus really descriptive and well written.
As for the title I have no comment on that, it’s a catchy title so I wouldn’t change it.
Brilliant write as always Nora you chosen your words perfectly.
*Hugs*
Jane ^_^ |
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