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Array ( [sid] => 186927 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => O Toilet Roll [time] => 2020-04-13 13:00:01 [hometext] => hum a few bars of O Christmas Tree/O Tannenbaum first, and it will roll off your tongue like loose tissue paper... [bodytext] => /
//

//
/

Oh toilet roll, oh toilet roll,
I miss your soft blessing
the time alone has wrought a toll,
the lavatory I’m messing.

where are all the varied seams?
3 ply lingers in my dreams
Oh toilet roll, oh toilet roll,
I miss your caressing.

neighbours hoarded while I looked,
now my goose is surely cooked
forget the holiday I booked,
I am online confessing.

where are you now I’m in a rut?
home alone with an itchy butt
Oh toilet roll, oh toilet roll,
I can’t be bothered dressing.

fancy napkins aren’t the same,
I am spoilt, to my shame
this is all a sadistic game,
now I’m really stressing.

all the shelves are sadly bare,
you always want what isn’t there
Oh toilet roll, oh toilet roll,
your absence is depressing.

from now on I’ll try and save,
no decking roofs – I’ll behave
Oh toilet roll, oh toilet roll,
please ease my precessing.

[comments] => 4 [counter] => 100 [topic] => 24 [informant] => spike [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LoveRemembered )

O Toilet Roll

Contributed by spike on Monday, 13th April 2020 @ 01:00:01 PM in AEST
Topic: LoveRemembered

/
//

//
/

Oh toilet roll, oh toilet roll,
I miss your soft blessing
the time alone has wrought a toll,
the lavatory I’m messing.

where are all the varied seams?
3 ply lingers in my dreams
Oh toilet roll, oh toilet roll,
I miss your caressing.

neighbours hoarded while I looked,
now my goose is surely cooked
forget the holiday I booked,
I am online confessing.

where are you now I’m in a rut?
home alone with an itchy butt
Oh toilet roll, oh toilet roll,
I can’t be bothered dressing.

fancy napkins aren’t the same,
I am spoilt, to my shame
this is all a sadistic game,
now I’m really stressing.

all the shelves are sadly bare,
you always want what isn’t there
Oh toilet roll, oh toilet roll,
your absence is depressing.

from now on I’ll try and save,
no decking roofs – I’ll behave
Oh toilet roll, oh toilet roll,
please ease my precessing.

Copyright Â© spike ... [ 2020-04-13 13:00:01]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: O Toilet Roll (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 14th April 2020 @ 05:30:26 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Oh ****!!!! That`s great. Thanks for the chuckles.

Out of curiosity I searched TP on eBay one night when this panic buying of TP started. Great Value (Walmart brand) for three to four times the store price PLUS shipping. I *** you not. 😂 It/'/s not just hoarding, it`s greed in times of need.

This was absolutely great, Spike!

Tim

Re: O Toilet Roll (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 18th April 2020 @ 04:52:10 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Well that is cute.
Well, an informed US president
would have come out early and
said, please do not hoard the
TP, we all need.
The TP, just like the PPE,
must be mass produced,
And so, by the powers invested
in me by the Defense Protection Act of 1950,
I declare full authority to make
more TP, and also PPE,
And what the heck, more
diagnostic test so that we
determine where the virus
is, and also so that we
can smooth out the need
for the masses of people to hoard such
truly truly important things we all hopefully need
to use, yes, each and every day -
And please, when you go
to the stores where workers commit
to working the front lines, do not
squeeze the charmin, I beg of you.
Stay Safe!!! P.S. it/'/s a virus,
not an ideology.

Peace!

Re: O Toilet Roll (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Friday, 24th April 2020 @ 05:48:06 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I/'/m here again. This is great. 🙂

Re: O Toilet Roll (User Rating: 1 )
by spud on Tuesday, 12th May 2020 @ 10:41:58 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Topical again, Spike! Ive seen people totally disregard social-distancing in order to grasp the last loo roll. Well, where theres muck theres brass, as they say. This time last year who would have thought that loo rolls would be top of the shopping, or fighting, list?

Great write again, Spike. Great humour too.

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