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Array ( [sid] => 186519 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Conditional Love [time] => 2019-09-10 04:29:30 [hometext] => I wrote this while I was growing up as an attempt to heal the constant feeling of unworthiness and judgment that was always lingering around my enviornment. [bodytext] => Withdrawn child,
anxious mind,
critical parents,
words unkind.
No love just to be.
You represent the family!
If you feel bad,
don`t let anyone see!
Don`t you dare embarrass me!
We were the perfect family,
or so it seemed outwardly.
Striving harder,
a little more,
maybe then,
I`ll get what I have been hungry for.
Flaws,
mistakes,
all they see.
I HATE imperfect me.
Little older,
still no love.
Offering my heart to be abused and used.
I deserve it!
Real love?
I`m not worth it!
Anything for someone to be near!
All my life it`s loud and clear.
Love is conditional,
it has to be earned.
Put yourself out there,
you`re going to get burned!
I long to let someone in,
I want to feel alive again. [comments] => 4 [counter] => 131 [topic] => 32 [informant] => Flossy [notes] => Edited for spelling, per member`s request ~ Moderator_18 September 10, 2019 [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )

Conditional Love

Contributed by Flossy on Tuesday, 10th September 2019 @ 04:29:30 AM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry

Withdrawn child,
anxious mind,
critical parents,
words unkind.
No love just to be.
You represent the family!
If you feel bad,
don`t let anyone see!
Don`t you dare embarrass me!
We were the perfect family,
or so it seemed outwardly.
Striving harder,
a little more,
maybe then,
I`ll get what I have been hungry for.
Flaws,
mistakes,
all they see.
I HATE imperfect me.
Little older,
still no love.
Offering my heart to be abused and used.
I deserve it!
Real love?
I`m not worth it!
Anything for someone to be near!
All my life it`s loud and clear.
Love is conditional,
it has to be earned.
Put yourself out there,
you`re going to get burned!
I long to let someone in,
I want to feel alive again.

Copyright © Flossy ... [ 2019-09-10 04:29:30]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Conditional Love (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 10th September 2019 @ 06:14:53 AM AEST
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This is really good and I can so relate to these words. Maybe not the situation but definitely the statements made. It`s so true at times.

I hope you don`t feel this way any longer: ✔ Real love?
I`m not worth it!

Good stuff. Thank you for sharing and

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to YPDC.

Please support our other writers. Thanks, Tim
😎

Re: Conditional Love (User Rating: 1 )
by alicewhite on Thursday, 12th September 2019 @ 03:48:03 PM AEST
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Emotional neglect of a child is so sad and extremely damaging to the persons self esteem ll the way through to adulthood x i feel your pain n share the experience with you but you have wrote about your recovery by writing about your recognition

Re: Conditional Love (User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on Friday, 13th September 2019 @ 01:25:52 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

You really have to live something like this and process it properly, to write it in a genuine way. And to neatly encapsulate it in a poem, with the proper cadence and rhyme structure, shows how you have developed beyond the emotional deprivations and abuses to a fully-formed human being. Welcome home.

S.

Re: Conditional Love (User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on Thursday, 3rd September 2020 @ 05:06:12 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

alicewhite nailed it.
Keep your chin up.

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