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Array
(
[sid] => 131523
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => ***
[time] => 2007-02-08 02:59:32
[hometext] => [A title up there, a note down here.... unnecessary, they seem]
[bodytext] =>
We could be delicate, I suppose
(if we wanted to tiptoe around
Each other for the rest of our years)
But I see no point in that.
We have lusted for the rain the whole of our lives
And hidden, already, far too many days, from the sun.
I think we’re done
With that.
There have been gods perched on the edge of our existence
Waiting, near forever, for our eyes to fall upon them.
We have played in the cool quiet of their shadows
But never once dared
To speak their names.
This, too,
Will change.
You have been embedding profundity
(and desire)
Into our conversations for so long now that
I have grown heavy with it.
I am becoming more golden
With each sigh.
My offerings are simple, but eternal.
Our horizon
Knows no shame.
We could be delicate, I suppose
But I see no need for that.
Forever is ours
For we have seen the gods
Reflected in one another's eyes.
[comments] => 15
[counter] => 709
[topic] => 21
[informant] => Silent-No-More
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 50
[ratings] => 10
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => Lifepoems
)
***
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Thursday, 8th February 2007 @ 02:59:32 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
We could be delicate, I suppose
(if we wanted to tiptoe around
Each other for the rest of our years)
But I see no point in that.
We have lusted for the rain the whole of our lives
And hidden, already, far too many days, from the sun.
I think we’re done
With that.
There have been gods perched on the edge of our existence
Waiting, near forever, for our eyes to fall upon them.
We have played in the cool quiet of their shadows
But never once dared
To speak their names.
This, too,
Will change.
You have been embedding profundity
(and desire)
Into our conversations for so long now that
I have grown heavy with it.
I am becoming more golden
With each sigh.
My offerings are simple, but eternal.
Our horizon
Knows no shame.
We could be delicate, I suppose
But I see no need for that.
Forever is ours
For we have seen the gods
Reflected in one another's eyes.
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2007-02-08 02:59:32]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 8th February 2007 @ 03:07:37 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Ah, bravo! I'm liking this one a lot. The form's very polished and professional, but what I like most about it is that it is completely subservient to the things you say; it's fully harnessed.
You've always had a good way with the mood which I might call "electrified epiphany", and this is one of your best examples, methinks. Just right. Aye.
Andrew |
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Re: ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Thursday, 8th February 2007 @ 08:45:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
a very awsome write.. you feel the emotions flowing and this was penned beauitfully.. I love the ending especially.. awesome job
vampyress Jenni |
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Re: ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by trialnerror on
Thursday, 8th February 2007 @ 11:21:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| beautiful, it dragged me inta trance reading it, its very .....whats the word to describe it.. surreal, and profesional. i like it. |
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Re: ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 8th February 2007 @ 12:22:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Ah, let's cut t' the chase, frills unnecessary! Wow! Fantastic work.
wabl
KenMoore
cobwboy |
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Re: ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by strawberryshortcake on
Thursday, 8th February 2007 @ 01:07:24 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| truly amazing poem. the ending is perfect. you have quite a flair in your writing. bravo!!! |
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Re: ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Thursday, 8th February 2007 @ 05:11:03 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Snemmers you are an extraordinary poetess.
You possess such poetic qualities and your flare with a pen is amazing. I'm so sorry, but all I have are mere simple words that don't give your remarkable poem the credit it deserves. The ending is perfect.
Written to perfection as is all your work~
love n hugs,
dreamer |
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Re: ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Thursday, 8th February 2007 @ 09:33:21 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I felt I was on a ladder descending into a fray however upon review and reread I think of this as an amendment to the Vows taken a kind of Bill of Rights where upon consensus additional conditions can be added. For me this is an elegant expression of dismay, disillusionment and the will to change and continue in union.
Bravo, Bravi, Brava!
Peace
Yangdantien |
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Re: ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by Keilantra on
Thursday, 8th February 2007 @ 10:00:12 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
my God, Snem, i know if i could write like that...there are really not words. i could only point out to you what parts make me want to tear this from the screen and shove it in my pocket. Fabulous, darling. really.
keep it up.
xXx
~kei |
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Re: ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Saturday, 10th February 2007 @ 07:14:39 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Ms No-More,
A very cool, 'lets not beat around the bush any longer' statement. Strong, affirmative, well crafted and oh so readable, for structure and form as well as the hot, ghooey substance. This is why poetry is better than chocolate.
Signed, Your fan
S |
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Re: ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 11th February 2007 @ 08:25:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Ya' know something. I'm quite speechless and in awe.
*amazed* |
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Re: ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by darkangeleyes57 on
Monday, 12th February 2007 @ 07:13:51 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
This was really beautiful. I liked how you expressed yourself and the emotions flowed throughout this poem. Great poem
Take care
Christina-xo |
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Re: ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 24th February 2007 @ 09:45:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Great writing, my friend and great to hear from you.
Big huggs,
emy |
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Re: ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 8th April 2007 @ 10:25:20 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I'm back to this poem again.Oh,how I relate to it.One day,one day! I'm gonna get of my backside and go where I should have gone,long ago and I'm not even sure what it is that keeps stopping me.
Perfectly crafted,hit the target centre of centre for me,Snem.
Den |
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Re: ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by Loende on
Sunday, 20th May 2007 @ 12:54:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Snemmy....OMG, I had forgotten how engaging you are. I bow to you. This was...lovely, in every aspect of the word. Thank you, thank you.
Be well,
Loende |
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Re: ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Monday, 29th October 2007 @ 12:55:30 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
!!!
Oh.
Oh.
--Nora
(who might be back sometime to be more articulate and all that, but . . . maybe this is as succinct and coherent as she'll ever get) |
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