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walk by me one more time
Contributed by
Rain
on
Tuesday, 23rd March 2004 @ 10:48:21 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
walk by me one more time
i scream your name to the rain
flowers bloom
then die
memories intangle me
like vines that intangle time
walk by me one more time
like a ghost
a shadow of a memory
that isnt mine
all ive ever seen of you
is what other once saw of you
and what old faded photographs
mimic from a time long since past
walk by me one more time
and dissapear into the rain
that drips down my face
mixed with tears of forgivness
and tears of longing
walk by me one more time
and let me see your face
for my self in the flesh
walk by me one more time
and i will no longer scream your name
to the rain that solftly falls
surrounding me.
Copyright ©
Rain
... [
2004-03-23 22:48:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: walk by me one more time
(User Rating: 1 )
by kidpoet_213 on
Tuesday, 23rd March 2004 @ 10:59:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I didn't find it too dark... great poem aside from the spelling mistakes (sorry maybe I'm nit picking here) The emotion is well expressed... but it could be tweeked just a bit here and there...
but overall GREAT JOB!! Keep on writing...
~Donna~ |
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Re: walk by me one more time
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 23rd March 2004 @ 11:01:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| breathtakingly beautiful:) hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: walk by me one more time
(User Rating: 1 )
by badlander on
Wednesday, 24th March 2004 @ 01:04:54 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| WOW!! Power,emotion. I could see you doing that on a dark stage,spotlight open mic.STRONG!! Thanks for sharing. |
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Re: walk by me one more time
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Thursday, 25th March 2004 @ 11:00:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Yes, this is very nice stuff. Makes me envious. Watch the spelling it a few spots. Otherwise this is excellent.
Stitch |
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