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Array ( [sid] => 98715 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Hesitating the murder [time] => 2005-06-20 11:56:08 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Turn the tables around
Bounceing off walls
Cant keep track
Forgot what i came for...

Keeping greetings short
Passing out favors
Cant recall the time
Pace myself for something more...

Excessive compulsive-
Incessive reactions!
EXCESSIVE COMPULSIVE-
INCESSIVE REACTIONS!!!

Plucking out grey hairs
Colors form on ceilings
Unpluging sad memories
Cant cope feelings...

Chuck out the outcome
Bring back my insecurities
Meet up with failures
Cant find the meanings...

...An ugly sight for my pretty eyes
This is the proof of anger inside...
Running towards the wall
Where my victims hang
I see them here, everywhere

Kept out of secrets
I keep my lips pursed tight
Abstract shapes and sizes
I feed off the struggling fight...

Excessive compulsive-
Incessive reactions!
EXCESSIVE COMPULSIVE-
INCESSIVE REACTIONS!!!

excessive....

impulsive...

compulsing...

incessing..

inacting...

EXCESSIVE COMPULSIVE INCESSIVE REACTIONS!

[comments] => 1 [counter] => 190 [topic] => 13 [informant] => LevyMetal [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

Hesitating the murder

Contributed by LevyMetal on Monday, 20th June 2005 @ 11:56:08 AM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

Turn the tables around
Bounceing off walls
Cant keep track
Forgot what i came for...

Keeping greetings short
Passing out favors
Cant recall the time
Pace myself for something more...

Excessive compulsive-
Incessive reactions!
EXCESSIVE COMPULSIVE-
INCESSIVE REACTIONS!!!

Plucking out grey hairs
Colors form on ceilings
Unpluging sad memories
Cant cope feelings...

Chuck out the outcome
Bring back my insecurities
Meet up with failures
Cant find the meanings...

...An ugly sight for my pretty eyes
This is the proof of anger inside...
Running towards the wall
Where my victims hang
I see them here, everywhere

Kept out of secrets
I keep my lips pursed tight
Abstract shapes and sizes
I feed off the struggling fight...

Excessive compulsive-
Incessive reactions!
EXCESSIVE COMPULSIVE-
INCESSIVE REACTIONS!!!

excessive....

impulsive...

compulsing...

incessing..

inacting...

EXCESSIVE COMPULSIVE INCESSIVE REACTIONS!

Copyright © LevyMetal ... [ 2005-06-20 11:56:08]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Hesitating the murder (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 7th February 2006 @ 06:12:06 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Not great as a written work. If this were a spoken work or song lyrics I can see much potential. It does not lack talent or flare. It just lacks that pace for a reader. Emotions get lost when a reader cannot find his own pace. Words choices were good. Try reciting this to someone. I assure you the reaction will be greater.

-SCM

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