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Array
(
[sid] => 97719
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => no longer me am i
[time] => 2005-06-11 23:43:16
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => looking back i wonder how i made it quite this far your wondering i know how long ive lived this life thinking im on the brink of death could you believe im only 20 two years into adulthood but fifteen years past childhood scars line my wrists like forgotten wrinkles in time forgotten pain of mine the past haunts my every hour each smile hide the memories each laugh hides the screams im fighting back but looseing all myself included im lost to all that once was me the blackness the pain thats who i was thats how i liked it all kept their distance i lost myself in my thoughts lost myself in all i was now no more the darkness clinges now no more the pain consumes and now no more am i me smiles no longer hide me blackness no longer shields me but now i am no longer me i am a shell a mistery i dont know who i am no longer can i understand the corners twisting through my mind thoughts i never had dreams i never owned all a mystery now i am not me i am not darkness i am not pain i am not anything my pen no longer spills my bloody thoughts apon these pages my razer now occupies dust and my scares mean little more than past pain past hurt the past haunting me who is this women i see within the broken mirror her voice is softer less harsh her eyes brighter but lost a mystery before me no longer me am i [comments] => 3 [counter] => 152 [topic] => 75 [informant] => rain [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 7 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => anguished )
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