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Array ( [sid] => 97445 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Ethereal [time] => 2005-06-09 16:42:02 [hometext] => Wrote this last night, finished it round 12 AM. I like the finished product. I want to make it as good as possible so suggestions are appreciated. [bodytext] => Will you stand beneath the bridge
where my toes dance with gravity,
pleading the laws of physics in vain
as I prepare you for my destiny.

Lift the face to misted heavens,
let the dark rain flow over me,
rivulets of pain traversing my skin
I bathe in bitter agony.

Breath of wind to tease the skin,
song of distant laughter to taunt.
Visions of gnashing teeth confuse,
emptiness envelops, converted to gaunt.

Half a thought to eternity, half step;
floating faces emboss the inner eye.
Recall singed embers fading,
fighting death to live alone to die.

Train whistle dancing in the wind,
whirled through tornado thoughts' might.
Winged eagles stretch beneath harvest moon,
envious not of my free falling flight.

No white angel wings glisten
to ease the broken soul's downfall.
No echo heralded pain to clouded memory
of past love beneath this sweet rainfall.

Nightmarish exhaustion punctuating desire
brings anguished soul to flight.
Face to face with harder stone than heart
I fell, beneath the shadowed moonlight.

~Waos~ [comments] => 6 [counter] => 184 [topic] => 32 [informant] => waos [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 23 [ratings] => 5 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )

Ethereal

Contributed by waos on Thursday, 9th June 2005 @ 04:42:02 PM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry

Will you stand beneath the bridge
where my toes dance with gravity,
pleading the laws of physics in vain
as I prepare you for my destiny.

Lift the face to misted heavens,
let the dark rain flow over me,
rivulets of pain traversing my skin
I bathe in bitter agony.

Breath of wind to tease the skin,
song of distant laughter to taunt.
Visions of gnashing teeth confuse,
emptiness envelops, converted to gaunt.

Half a thought to eternity, half step;
floating faces emboss the inner eye.
Recall singed embers fading,
fighting death to live alone to die.

Train whistle dancing in the wind,
whirled through tornado thoughts' might.
Winged eagles stretch beneath harvest moon,
envious not of my free falling flight.

No white angel wings glisten
to ease the broken soul's downfall.
No echo heralded pain to clouded memory
of past love beneath this sweet rainfall.

Nightmarish exhaustion punctuating desire
brings anguished soul to flight.
Face to face with harder stone than heart
I fell, beneath the shadowed moonlight.

~Waos~

Copyright © waos ... [ 2005-06-09 16:42:02]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Ethereal (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Thursday, 9th June 2005 @ 04:45:09 PM AEST
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I felt this it pierced my heart incredible write
Michelle

Re: Ethereal (User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on Thursday, 9th June 2005 @ 04:59:19 PM AEST
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best i've read all day. i love how throughout the poem life and death flirt and drags on until the end. you did an amazing job with the imagery. its an incredible poem and you should be damn proud! =) loved everyline

Re: Ethereal (User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on Thursday, 9th June 2005 @ 05:42:33 PM AEST
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excellent write

Re: Ethereal (User Rating: 1 )
by russ-dawg on Thursday, 9th June 2005 @ 10:44:40 PM AEST
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i am not sure what to say other than that was a wicked good poem!

Re: Ethereal (User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on Saturday, 11th June 2005 @ 11:34:03 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Wow... I have read this numerous times and
I am still left in awe. The poem was just so
beautifully written and just captures your
natural talent which so few have. I just loved
how it flowed and just the terrible expression
of sadness that your words so eloquently
captured. The ending was exquisite and Kara
my dear as I told you before I don't think this
write could get any better.

Bobo (Joel)

Re: Ethereal (User Rating: 1 )
by Blu on Monday, 13th June 2005 @ 05:10:51 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Wow-the imagery is beautiful.
I love the last line:
I fell, beneath the shadowed moonlight.

Beautifully written and the rhyming flows very well.

Fantastic write!

Blu

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