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Array ( [sid] => 97302 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => On the Surface [time] => 2005-06-08 12:23:30 [hometext] => i just wanted to practice submitting a poem and i chose this one that i wrote in middle school for an assignment after we went to the prairie, my teacher wasn't sufficently satisfied but o well [bodytext] => The purple coneflower’s petals go into
a droopy wilt then blow away
as fall returns for the year.
Citrus smelling seeds separate from their
pine-cone shaped community
to claim another spot
for the purple coneflower to grow next year.

Buffalo eat the last of the green grasses
preparing to migrate west until summer returns.
Then a light rain begins
relieving the gigantic animals
as the water trickles through their thick fur.

But the rain becomes harder
evolving into a deafening thunderstorm.
The once calm, whistling breeze becomes a ferocious wind.
And large black clouds roll in making the day night.
Lightening strikes the prairie
then disappears as quickly as a coachman cracking his whip.

The dry, crunchy grasses light quickly
as a flame turns into a roaring fire.
Buffalo stampede across the land
as the purple coneflower turns to ash.
The fire outlives the storm by days
but eventually dies down.
The once blooming prairie is now black.

But the flower’s roots grow deep
while a fire is only on the surface.
The purple coneflower
will return next spring
bringing with them the buffalo.

[comments] => 4 [counter] => 194 [topic] => 27 [informant] => expired_promises [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => NaturePoetry )

On the Surface

Contributed by expired_promises on Wednesday, 8th June 2005 @ 12:23:30 PM in AEST
Topic: NaturePoetry

The purple coneflower’s petals go into
a droopy wilt then blow away
as fall returns for the year.
Citrus smelling seeds separate from their
pine-cone shaped community
to claim another spot
for the purple coneflower to grow next year.

Buffalo eat the last of the green grasses
preparing to migrate west until summer returns.
Then a light rain begins
relieving the gigantic animals
as the water trickles through their thick fur.

But the rain becomes harder
evolving into a deafening thunderstorm.
The once calm, whistling breeze becomes a ferocious wind.
And large black clouds roll in making the day night.
Lightening strikes the prairie
then disappears as quickly as a coachman cracking his whip.

The dry, crunchy grasses light quickly
as a flame turns into a roaring fire.
Buffalo stampede across the land
as the purple coneflower turns to ash.
The fire outlives the storm by days
but eventually dies down.
The once blooming prairie is now black.

But the flower’s roots grow deep
while a fire is only on the surface.
The purple coneflower
will return next spring
bringing with them the buffalo.

Copyright Â© expired_promises ... [ 2005-06-08 12:23:30]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: On the Surface (User Rating: 1 )
by In_a_while on Wednesday, 8th June 2005 @ 12:38:05 PM AEST
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Wow, very strong imagery and a sense of the circle of life going on. I take my hat off to this poem...

keep up the fine writing!

dw

Re: On the Surface (User Rating: 1 )
by poet70 on Wednesday, 8th June 2005 @ 02:47:17 PM AEST
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Fro this being wrote in middle school, I think it was very good, just like the other person said, you had a sense of the circle of life, and that is very sweet. I liked the poem, it was cute, and made a very clear pic,
Tammi

Re: On the Surface (User Rating: 1 )
by wakegurl77 on Tuesday, 14th June 2005 @ 05:04:38 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This is so beautiful and so brilliant it makes me wonder why in your untitled poem you had to use someone elses words when it seems you have an abundance for yourself well any way i love the flow of this poem it brings us from bright to sad to bright in one swift motion amazing
leana

Re: On the Surface (User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 05:23:51 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

If your teacher didn't like it, your teacher is a moron. Seriously, this was cool. I'll echo past comments, you captured well the rebirth in nature.
Take care.
David

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