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Array
(
[sid] => 97005
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Change?...
[time] => 2005-06-06 01:26:51
[hometext] => Since I was a kid my parents moved us 13x, to 12 different schools...It's hard enough 4 anyone 2 figure out who they are and where they fit in this life w/o the endless change of setting. Its been a personal struggle 4 the greater part of my life; still..
[bodytext] => Times change much too fast. Is it better that some things don't last? If so, how will we know if it is real? When will we know it is safe to invest ourselves, and really feel? I fear times progression, as it taps upon my window too often unexpected and uninvited. I anticipate change to bring me much depression, and its' constant pester, leaves me unexcited. Do I feel too much? Verbose in words, as sensitive to touch? Changes pace has kept me on my toes. Is there a door I have forgotten to close? How do I trust, the one thing that brings the news of suddenness & hurt & yet the one thing so consistent to its word. If this thing opened many doors of good, Why do I not feel as happy as I should? I often feel as if change drags me down a hall of exact fitting frames, Which bears a hard wooden object that demands I must choose, or so it claims. Then I am told I cannot know what lies beyond each object, but a path I must pick. If change is what it is, how can I trust it, and not have just fallen for some trick? It sends a message & tells me it's time to go once again. Will this time it take me to a place where it will end? Is it taking all control & leaving me with none? Will I ever be able to declare the ground firm? And will the last door I'm allowed to choose be opened and be the fresh smelling flowery field where I may throw off my shoes, rip off my socks & forever blissfully run?? [comments] => 1 [counter] => 154 [topic] => 61 [informant] => kareless [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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