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Array ( [sid] => 96822 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => wake up [time] => 2005-06-04 14:17:28 [hometext] => [bodytext] => you sell yourself short
of that which frees you in the daytime.
but under an heavy summer sky
when the stars read midnight
and reak of young desire,
with a bottle of rum and him by your side,
the world is turned upside-down by your feelings of emptiness,
and inebriated longing.
innocence,
and commonsense,
are merely spare change falling from your pockets.
and you think that there's no way to fall but down.
so,
you do.
because you're no miracle worker
and he can't walk on water.
an long unsatiated temptation floods your mind,
and you lie with your illicit lover
allowing yourself to believe,
for a fleeting moment,
that somewhere beyond creaking mattresses,
and satin sheets,
he loves you still.
the frustration and incapability of a virgin bystander to understand take hold.
can't you see,
in all your drunken folly,
that your feelings of sincerity and unwavering devotion,
are only matched by his all-too-frequent pangs of loneliness
and selfish generosity?
don't take it personally,
you were never really meant to in the first place. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 171 [topic] => 61 [informant] => that_gypsy_fire [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )

wake up

Contributed by that_gypsy_fire on Saturday, 4th June 2005 @ 02:17:28 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

you sell yourself short
of that which frees you in the daytime.
but under an heavy summer sky
when the stars read midnight
and reak of young desire,
with a bottle of rum and him by your side,
the world is turned upside-down by your feelings of emptiness,
and inebriated longing.
innocence,
and commonsense,
are merely spare change falling from your pockets.
and you think that there's no way to fall but down.
so,
you do.
because you're no miracle worker
and he can't walk on water.
an long unsatiated temptation floods your mind,
and you lie with your illicit lover
allowing yourself to believe,
for a fleeting moment,
that somewhere beyond creaking mattresses,
and satin sheets,
he loves you still.
the frustration and incapability of a virgin bystander to understand take hold.
can't you see,
in all your drunken folly,
that your feelings of sincerity and unwavering devotion,
are only matched by his all-too-frequent pangs of loneliness
and selfish generosity?
don't take it personally,
you were never really meant to in the first place.

Copyright © that_gypsy_fire ... [ 2005-06-04 14:17:28]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: wake up (User Rating: 1 )
by freckle on Tuesday, 14th June 2005 @ 09:54:39 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Great poem! I love the imagery in it...
but under an heavy summer sky
when the stars read midnight
and reak of young desire,
What a picture! What feelings you bring to the surface. I think this is a beautiful piece of prose. Thanks so much for sharing it here at YPDC.

Carol

Re: wake up (User Rating: 1 )
by PHISHBATES on Monday, 18th July 2005 @ 12:06:32 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

selfish generosity. I really like this poem and ao many things about it. mostly, how it made me feel, guilty. makes remember what a ass i've been. great work

Re: wake up (User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on Saturday, 30th July 2005 @ 03:34:51 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I really liked this..
the 2nd and 3rd person speech is brilliant.

but I do find it necessary to say that your use of the word.."an" before a word that begins with a consonant is incorrect..it should be the word.."a"
that proceeds it.. perhaps it's merely an oversight..

either way..this is magnificent:

"innocence,
and commonsense,
are merely spare change falling from your pockets.
and you think that there's no way to fall but down.
so,
you do."

awesome..

Billy

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