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Array ( [sid] => 96473 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => i want to cut [time] => 2005-06-01 10:34:06 [hometext] => im so desperate... i dont want to do this but im not that strong... plz comment....... ~jennie* [bodytext] => temptations burst i can't hold out
i thought i could but i have my doubts
i see the knife... is it an obsession?
fingers itching, they want possession
it glares in the light... inches away
the sharpened tip, it seems to say
it wants to go back to where it belongs
digging into my skin, making me strong
fingers linger on the grip of the knife
slide gently across my skin and my life
remember the feeling of blood release
providing a sense of great relief
a tear slips out as i try to resist
let go of the knife that's gripped in my fist
longing for blood, i squeeze my eyes shut
i want to bleed, i want to cut
[comments] => 4 [counter] => 154 [topic] => 61 [informant] => blue_angel [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 9 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )

i want to cut

Contributed by blue_angel on Wednesday, 1st June 2005 @ 10:34:06 AM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

temptations burst i can't hold out
i thought i could but i have my doubts
i see the knife... is it an obsession?
fingers itching, they want possession
it glares in the light... inches away
the sharpened tip, it seems to say
it wants to go back to where it belongs
digging into my skin, making me strong
fingers linger on the grip of the knife
slide gently across my skin and my life
remember the feeling of blood release
providing a sense of great relief
a tear slips out as i try to resist
let go of the knife that's gripped in my fist
longing for blood, i squeeze my eyes shut
i want to bleed, i want to cut

Copyright © blue_angel ... [ 2005-06-01 10:34:06]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: i want to cut (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Wednesday, 1st June 2005 @ 10:43:18 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I am so sorry that this is the only form of release for you. I have known many like you and I can only offer a hand of comfort. I would like to see your writing become a new form of release. Bring the pen to paper, and feel your pain and anguish ooze onto it!
"Please be careful as you hold that knife, that same sweet blade may take your life"
If you need to chat, PM me. I don't know if I can help, but I would like to.
Angel always...godspeed...joni

Re: i want to cut (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on Wednesday, 1st June 2005 @ 10:50:25 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Jennie...I can't say I know how this feels cuz I'd be lying, but I can say that I know that all is not lost... Don't yield to the temptation, write about it but be strong.. You say you are not strong, but I know better!! You have an inner strength that will take you through this.
Talk to me if you feel like it..I'd like to help if I can.
Hugs
Jenni_K

Re: i want to cut (User Rating: 1 )
by suicidal_imbecile on Wednesday, 1st June 2005 @ 11:44:51 AM AEST
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Jennie, my dear. only somebody in that position can write that well, i feel bad that you were there. I've been there. cutting is like a routine. Everything has to be perfect for me, I get really calm, turn my music up turn my red light on (so it blends in with the blood) and i go, its been 3 or so months since my last cut and that was a relapse. Remember every day will be a struggle and you just have to fight those thoughts, Its an addiction. Like smoking, which i still havnt been able to cut, the longer you go without a smoke say 2,3,4 days the less the craving will be than the day before. Remember that. Just keep strong
kate

Re: i want to cut (User Rating: 1 )
by flamingblade on Sunday, 11th December 2005 @ 03:58:50 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i know it may feel good at first, but it hurts like no other after.I hope you pass thisfeeling by.

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