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Array
(
[sid] => 96082
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Hates, Lusts, and All the Memories Which Made Me. (And Look At Me Now...)
[time] => 2005-05-28 15:11:24
[hometext] => do you remember those memories? i wish i did... not sometimes
[bodytext] => eighteen years. i've lived my life, and then some. i've done things others never will and avoided others' everyday habits so this is what i've come to. my life has started and my past is dying my future hits me headstrong and now, i'm faced with a reality i never knew existed there are things i'll miss and things i'll wish i had missed but now i look back and realize that without my life i'd be dead so i'll stay grateful for my passions and my discomforts because they are what made me these faces i've known won't be there when i awake so should i fall asleep while remembering these images in all my dreams or should i suffer through insomnia in hopes not to forget a single moment the night has fallen on my life a new dawn will rise in the morning have i grown up? maybe am i ready? i hope so but do i want to be where i am right now? i'll never know if this was enough to show my love for what i had and now i remember the images of my life and i am forced to open a new scrapbook of my life it's a shame i hated what i had and now i wish i didnt have to lose it i've never known what to expect everyday: a new disappointment but not until i realize it the tears i shed only taught me and the pain i suffered only showed me how to be what i have become ashamed of my past i used to be but if i didnt have the life i lived would my name still be the same? i dont want to leave my comfort to try and build a new one i'll wake up tomorrow staring an absence of being right in the face in the morning i'll have to start all over my eyes begin to water at the thoughts of this reality but am i going to follow your example and live in grief over what i cant bring back? i cant because its not in my past to cry about it now i'll cry about it tomorrow but it's already tomorrow yesterday passed me by and now i'm left alone with just a memory [comments] => 3 [counter] => 188 [topic] => 21 [informant] => abnormalpunk [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
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