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Pride
Contributed by
spazz911
on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 08:45:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
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Pride is what I have
Strong, enforcing real
Striking out a forging trail
Never gunna fail
So I could never leave you
Join these thoughts that cross my mind
Banging of my conscience
Drowning out my doubting time
Strong unfailing freedom
Prides my force-fly-free
Chipping at my beat then
Slowly it wins out
I couldn’t live if I did it
Well of course I would be dead
But even the thought of cutting
Has never crossed my head
Well maybe it has touched there
But I shook it away so soon
Never will I feel the blade
The pain and blood let strewn
Say I’m strong I wont believe you
I’m trapped inside myself
I can’t change who I am
And if I did I’d rather die
Copyright ©
spazz911
... [
2005-05-19 20:45:18] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Pride
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jaycee on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 09:20:13 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow kc, this is such a well written poem. Your pride, while it traps you, is such a strong force in your life. Maybe it masquerades as strength I perceive in you, but that is so... incredible. I've never seen or heard of anyone that was so driven internally and without conscious desire. The poem has so many good moments, like never gunna fail and everything after Slowly it wins out is just so... I won't say excellent. Superior, maybe? A so heartfelt poem about involuntary striving for excellence. The ending, the last 2 lines. OMG, so incredible, like that defines the poem so well. 5 star work. |
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Re: Pride
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jaycee on
Saturday, 21st May 2005 @ 08:41:09 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i can't believe no one else has commented on this poem with the thousands of members on this site! C'mon people, this is a great poem! |
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Re: Pride
(User Rating: 1 ) by blue_angel on
Sunday, 22nd May 2005 @ 09:22:17 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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you are strong... hello how do u think u resisted the temptation of cutting and suicide in which you yourself admitted to thinking about and coming close to doing (even tho in this poem it says u didnt u told me b4 u did)... and god kc u think u have it so bad... well i mean u do have it worse than some but im sorry but i think i have it a little werse than u because i am weak and it only proves that you are strong even tho u continue to be in denial. stop denying whats right in your face... your strength. duh how do u think u do so good in evrything u do... u have to strength to carry on. why do i do bad in what i do? cuz i dont have the strength. do i have to beat it into your head? YOU ARE STRONG YOU ARE STRONG!! there.
luv ya still,
jennie*......... sry i kinda rambled thru this comment. |
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